On Watching Agneepath

...the new Agneepath, starring Hrithik Roshan.

It affected me in many different ways. We were around 10-12 minutes late for the movie. We missed the start. But I don't think that mattered much. I have not seen Amitabh Bachchan's movie and so this version was totally new for me.

The first thing that stuck me was the tremendous violence in the movie. It is downright nerve-wracking. I was on the edge of my seat and was not sure I had done the right thing by coming to watch the movie. The movie starts with violence where Vijay's father is murdered by Kancha, the main antagonist. It is an incident that drives the movie. It drives each and every move that Vijay makes. It sets a grim tone to the whole movie. There are almost no light moments; emotional, yes; but lighter moments...I really cannot remember.

Vijay's father, a school master had tried to oppose Kancha's dream of turning the village in a drug center by renting the lands of all villagers. Kancha successfully removes the thorn (Vijay's father) from his way, while the whole village celebrates that they can now freely help Kancha. Kancha lures them that their lands would be used for a salt factory and they would get money out of it. This grim victory is actually the downfall of the villagers. They win the battle of doing away with the schoolmaster and in turn lose the war of having a happy and prosperous village. They literally walk towards their downfall.

When Vijay's father is murdered, his heavily pregnant mother is shown being trampled at the feet of the angry village people. I was hoping that they wouldn't show her bleeding to death, and thank God, they didn't! Eventually, the mother and son escape to the big city and arrive in a basti. The mother goes into labour pains and a daughter is born.

Soon enough, Vijay-a boy of 12 years, witnesses a murder by Rauf Lala, and lies to the police about the murderer. Vijay  also murders the police officer who tries to get him tell the truth. His mother severs all her ties with the son and moves out of his life to lead a life of her own with her daughter. We now see a Vijay that's all grown up handsome and all with a girlfriend, who works as a mafia leader for Rauf Lala. Rauf is not just a drug mafia, but also a human trafficker.

As Hrithik Roshan entered as the older Vijay, I found it very similar to Fiza, a movie directed by Khalid Mohammed. Fiza is the story of how a sister seeks out to find her brother-a troubled boy who goes on to become a terrorist. Vijay in Agneepath too has had a disturbed childhood that has made him a violent mafia leader. I think I made that comparison more because Hrithik Roshan has played the troubled boy in both the movies.

I won't give away the whole story here. But what with songs in between, more murders, mass killings, double dealings, we are finally led to a climax, that's again a replication of what we saw in the beginning.

The once happy and prosperous village that Vijay and Kancha hailed from, has now turned into a barren land. Death, disease, poverty, unhappiness, and distress is what you see and it makes you feel all the more horrified and hollow.

At every violent, illegal, unhealthy event in the film, I was more and more engrossed with feelings of futility, hopelessness, dread, and loss.

What also aided these feelings was the tremendous background music given by Ajay-Atul, the Marathi composers, who have done a fantastic job. The tension, the evilness, the futility, the murderous villains, the dark atmosphere is all enhanced by the background score. It increases your heartbeats, it gives you the chills, it makes you all nervous. Salute to the two.

The duo have also provided the music to the songs in the movie. One particular song affected me in a totally different way. The song is "Abhi Mujh Mein Kahin" and shows how Vijay enjoys his time with his sister and girlfriend together. The lyrics are really nice and the song made me cry. The emotions of Vijay meeting his sister after 15 years, and how he had lived each unhappy day to enjoy this one happy day in his life resonated with me and brought out completely different feelings. I don't know why that happened. But I cried remembering my parents, how sometimes I miss them very much, how they miss me, how we are unable to be with each other in our moments of distress and happiness too. I thought how each day I hope to have them with me and meet them. I cannot describe all that I felt as I cried dearly. It was a very, very distressful moment for me. I miss my parents a lot. A lot.

My life has been so very different since my marriage. The song brought it all out. I was quite disturbed for that evening and night. The violence and this song of the movie have made a major impact on me.

Agneepath has really been a different experience for me. Unforgettable!

Responsible

When things do not work, I realise I am responsible for them. When I screw up things, I know I am responsible.

But when people don't behave well with me for no apparent reason, but just that I exist...even then am I responsible?

My one action can bring about so many changes. It has changed so many people, it has perhaps broken so many hearts...severed so many relations. Is it after all worth it? More than that...I shall always have this constant gnawing at my heart that it's all my doing.

But what really is the issue? I don't know. I cannot fathom. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to make the other person feel comfortable and loved in a group. I cannot understand why some have not bothered to include me in. Why do some people still prefer a ghetto? What's so disgusting, so bad about me that I get alienated?

Why do I not get enough power, recognition, freedom to do things? Why is everything so unhealthy? What have I done after all? I cannot understand. I cannot make head or tail of some situations.

But in all this, I do feel responsible for making a mess. Or perhaps starting a mess. It's going to be one scar, one guilty feeling that won't be ridden off.

Has This Happened To You...

...that at a wedding lunch, you looked up from your food and saw a man sitting opposite you drop food on his shirt, and the man realises it and looks up to see if anyone noticed it only to look at you watching him, making him feel totally embarrassed?

...that you are in a meeting room waiting for someone, and you withdraw the curtain of the glass window to look at what the man sitting just outside the room is doing, only to look straight in his eyes as he too looks up at you at the same time?

...that you mistakenly spoke an incorrect word during a conversation, hoping that no one would have heard it, and hear someone silently telling you in your ear that they heard what you actually said?

...that you are riding on you are pillion riding a bike and see another biker's cap go flying away, and just as you start laughing at the funny episode, you feel your cap too blown away by the wind?

...that when you are out in your best clothes, or hurrying to an important appointment, that's when birds from above are at their most giving attitude and target you for their charity?

What Will Happen If...

...I absolutely and resolutely refuse to get up in the morning and do the household chores?

...I refuse to grow up and take responsibilities?

...I just deny someone's existence or someone's death and pretend that that person is still there with me, or not there at all?

...the world just stops bothering me with things to do?

...I refuse to behave properly with others and always answer back with whatever answer that comes first to my mind?

...I refuse to come out of one stage of life, such as youth, or childhood and determine to stay put?

...I refuse to be not jealous of some people.

...I decide to be totally selfish and careless about people.

...I stop the cleaning I do at home.

...I decide never to meet some relatives.

...I decide never to do things as other people expect me to.

< 20

OMG!

Excitement, nervousness, what's-happening-to-me-ness, where-did-those-days-go-by-ness, how-is-all-going-to-work-out-ness, why-is-not-the-whole-world-happy-like-me feeling, do-i-deserve-so-much-of-happiness feeling, and finally, I-think-I-have-gone-crazy-as-in-"gandliye" feeling.

Walls

Have you ever been to a jewellery shop at its closing time? The usually-adorned walls are stripped off their shine and lusture, literally. All jewellery on-show is removed from the showcases and put away for the night. It's actually a sad sight. The glitter and shine of the whole day, the gold, silver, pearls all on display vanish in the cupboard for the night. If you are used to those shiny walls and gleaming showcases, it's kind of a shock to see those bare walls. That's when you realise that at night, those jewellery shops are so different. Not to mention the work the salesmen and saleswomen have to do to store the jewellery in safes and then displaying them again the next day.

Still these shops get back their sparkle every day in the morning. But that isn't the case with a house that you have just moved away from. When you book a new house, you are in anticipation of getting the new house and moving into your new surroundings. As the day approaches, you move your furniture, bags, clothes, utensils. Brick by brick you strip off the house of its things and amenities and the house starts becoming empty. On the final day when you are leaving, if you glance back, you see the desolate walls, the empty space in the rooms, all witness of the time you spent in that house, the things you kept there, the cupboard in the corner, the table near the window, the spot on the wall where you had hit yourself when you were young. All those memories of those wonderful times come back. And then comes back that feeling of emptiness, the feeling you get when you leave back a person after a long association. It's like you are leaving a part of you behind as you move. It's the place that has sheltered you, the place where you were at home with friends and families, and shared many a laughs and tears. The shine is all gone. What is left are bleak, lack-lusture walls!

What all stories those jewellery shop walls and our old house walls would tell!

Settling Down

My colleague has recently got married. She was working till before her wedding and now, she has settled down to become a nice "wife."

I met her today and found that it's a complete different world that she is living in. Her life before her wedding was so unlike to what she is living now. Then she was working, now she is at home. Then she lived alone and worked. Now she stays at her in-laws, a joint family of parents-in-law, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and children, and doesn't work. Then she wore jeans and dresses. Now she wears saris and is decked up with jewellery.

Is that what settling down after being married is? It's quite unsettling and spooky!

Prayers For A Brave Hero

He has got a bullet in his stomach, and he needs several operations to get back to normal. It's already some days now and the bullet is still inside him.

This brave hero was hit in the stomach with a bullet by the "you-know-whos." He was found after 12 hours with a bullet inside him. It's a wonder that he is still alive! His stomach, small intestine, large intestine are all affected and are in dangerous conditions. The liver is damaged! But not his spirit!!

He is still fighting for his life, living each day bravely. Every new operation is going to be a new test.

I want him to recover from this ordeal. I want him to be hale and hearty like he always was.

I don't want him to succumb to his injuries like other soldiers have.

I am praying constantly for his recovery! Lieutenant, we are there for you! Wishing you a speedy recovery, Brave Hero! We salute your bravery! Don't leave us!

The Unknown

Fear of the unknown...that's what we fear the most!

And it starts from very small things. It starts right from our first day in school or college, we know nothing what to expect and that's why we are terrified. We are nervous on our first day on our first job, every job for that matter.

We are afraid of meeting new people because we don't know what will happen when we do. We are frightened to try out new things because they are unknown to us.

And we are afraid of every new phase of our life because we are just clueless of what lies ahead of us.

Life is full of unknown things! That's really spooky, you know!

Something's Wrong With My Face

"I have seen you somewhere." That's what a lot of people say when they meet me or see me for the first time. I wonder how can everyone feel that they have seen me before.

I have heard people say that there are at least 7 people in this whole world who look similar. I have a doubt that all the other six are here in Pune. That's a very dangerous condition. I think, I now know what Lord Voldemort felt when he knew that there were 6 more of himself hidden somewhere. But at least he knew where they all were. I don't know where my other duplicates are. That's spooky!

Let me get my hands on at least one of the other 6! Then see what all I do! I'll maker her attend ever family function for me. I'll make her drive me everywhere. I'll make her work for me and I'll go on a long vacation. Then she'll know what it is to be me.

One other thing that I always hear when my family folks meet me is that I look like my Aunt, my father's sister. If not her, then I am generally told that I look like one of her daughters, my cousin Shilpa or Sapna. My family also tells me that I talk like my cousins, my style is just like the other Pradhans.

Could someone please say that I look exactly like myself and that I talk just like myself?

Hukum Mere Aka!

I really, really wish I had a Genie who would say this every time I wanted something! Seriously!

I am now even fed up of being fed up and disgruntled when things don't just happen as per my wish. I am now tired of expecting something as per my wish everyday. I am exhausted of wishing to have carefree and guest-free weekends. I have lost hope of not having folks around who are not selfish and who care for their happiness alone. I am done with waiting forever for things to happen. I have had enough of entertaining people just because it's my "duty." I am sick of having my life ordained for me where I have no say at all.

Basically, at the moment, I am just sick to death of everything and everyone. Don't tell I didn't warn you! I won't be responsible if I misbehave with anyone.

To A Couple!

Here's wishing Mukta and Aditya a very Happy Anniversary!

This made-for-each-other couple makes my life brighter and this world a better place to live in.

May you have comfort and sunshine, love and togetherness, happiness and support forever in your life.

Masks May Bring Fame

I generally cannot boast of having any similarities with film stars or high-profile leaders. But this one time, I have my claim to fame. I can claim to have two things that I share with Rupert Grint, the actor playing Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. We both share arachnophobia. And the more recent one is, I can boast of being an H1N1 swine flu patient, just like him. :D

Yes, I had swine flu for a week since March 25. I was isolated, under medication, and now almost out of it. I completed my medication course on Wednesday, March 31. But I am still suffering from an unprecedented bout of weakness and fatigue. Never before have I felt that frail. But it's all in the game.

What is funny is not that I had swine flu, but how people reacted to the news. The first reaction I heard from people was of shock. Of utter disbelief! It was as if I had caught a dreadful disease, something out of this world! Most thought that it was a dreadful condition to be in, how could I ever contract it, what did I do, and how was I ever to get out of it. I assure you all that swine flu is completely curable. I am a living example. If you can understand the symptoms early enough, take proper precautions, and take regular medicines, you will be out of it in a trice. Well, not literally, but certainly!

When I had the symptoms, and when another of my friend tested positive with H1N1 (with whom I had spent some time together), I had my doubts that I might have contracted H1N1. But the result of the test that I underwent, when out as positive, made the difference. I went into a self-imposed (and rightly so) isolation. I could not meet friends or relatives. Fortunately, my parents weren't affected! Touch wood!

So, I was at home, taking medicines, resting, and also wearing the N95 mask.  It is only now that I appreciate people who have to wear masks at their work. It is so inconvenient to wear that damn irritating thing all day. Believe me, it is hard enough not to meet folks when you are ill (and not get yourself pampered by visiting folks.) And it is worse to sit there all alone in a corner, wearing a mask, feeling all the more tired and dejected. And this is how I also appreciate all my canine friends who are muzzled so that they can't open their mouths. Poor dogs! Here's my "Tails-Up" salute to all of them!

The next time you see such a dog with its mouth all bound up, bless yourself that you haven't been affected by H1N1. And don't forget to bless those little souls too!

So, anyway, here I am, recouperating! I shall soon be in action. Till then, here are some tips that you might want to have a look at:

http://www.emaxhealth.com/1024/90/30681/how-take-swine-flu-precautions.html
http://www.swineflu-india.org/Prevention-and-Precautions-for-Swine-Flu-India.html


Ohh, and one more thing! This is not applicable just to H1N1. It's true of all illnesses. But it's more valid for swine flu, because it is such a contagious disease. Be prepared to recite your story over and over again. Be prepared to retell your story of how and when you got the symptoms, how you dealt with them, how and when you got the test positive, what medicines you are taking, what other precautions you need to take, and the whole history and geography of your illness as many times as you have friends and relatives. No one will be satisfied till they hear it all. Remember, there is no shortcut to fame!

Cheers fellas!

"Begging With An Attitude" In Japanese

A very good friend of mine, Prajwal Channagiri honoured me by translating my Begging With An Attitude post in Japanese. I want to thank him for his efforts and the generous compassion that induced him to translate my post.

Here's the Japanese post: http://blog.goo.ne.jp/cprajwal85/e/fe462f2fd439b86d2f2561adbcb7be8c.

Thanks, Prajwal!

Patronuses

I know for sure that I have got a Patronus. Two in fact. They are those cheerful forces that are helping me survive the gloomy, confusing, hostile, frightened life that I sometimes have.

They have helped me ascertain that my instints are intact. That my gut feelings are usually correct and that I should stick to them. They have appeared at my bleakest hour and signaled that I am on the right track and that they are there to protect me. Their appearance has fortified me, given me a warmth, a strength to endure difficulties and surpass them.

They have given me the self confidence that I was losing. Ultimately I would have succumbed to the darkest of fears, self-pity, and unhappiness, but for them! Now I know, they are there to guide me, to protect me from the blackest and darkest forces.

Thank you dear Patronuses! I need you every hour, every minute, every second. Stay by me!

Foul February

I hate February! Really! Since past few years, I have consistently had the worst days of the year in February. All bad things happen in February. Deaths, illnesses, losses, heartbreaks, unhappy relations, sly, selfish relationships, all, all happen in February.

I want this month to get over soon, really soon!

Till then I pray nothing worse happens any more! Hoping that the rest of the year is better!

Wishful thinking...!

"Sirius"ly Yours

This wonderful friend finally succumbed to the inevitable.

He had wandered into Wadia Stud Farm as a small pup where he was adopted unconditionally.

He lived life giving love to everyone. He was especially attached my mother who works there. He waited for her on guard when she worked overtime and accompanied her till the gate. He was truly noble.


All at Wadia Stud Farm will truly miss you, Sirius!

Can We Get Smaller Than This?

Where do we figure in this?

If you want to know more about this picture, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Star-sizes.jpg.

Seriously, we're just teeny-weeny, tiny-miny, itsy-bitsy midgets in this universe. But we consider ourselves, our wants and wishes, our egos bigger than even Canis Majoris. Time we resized it all, I guess!

What's New?

Another year starts, and life still goes on. I mean, with the new year, except that the date changes, what's different? It's the same old life for us workers, go to office and return in the evening day after day. For students, the year continues...nothing apparently changes except the syllabus.

A new financial year starts and yet each one stays at the same level that one was before. If you get an appraisal and bonus, then you spend more because you have got more. Eventually you end up having the same amount as your bank balance.

Writers keep writing new things like they have done every year. Actors keep on acting as they have done in each of their past movies. Players play and excel like they do in every game. Soldiers do their duties and wait for their next vacation as they do every year.

People are born and people die. Natural calamities occur and leave some scars. Man-made dire circumstances occur leaving behind a whirlwind of emotions. Ultimately everything settles down as dust settles down after a storm to welcome another year that will go past as the year before that.

Just one small change occurs...you add another year to your age and that's what makes a difference.

Reasons Why Things Go Wrong

Murphy's Law:
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Simon's Law:
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.

The Unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something...
...if it's good, it goes away.
...if it's bad, it happens.

Hane's Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.

Bedfellow's Rule:
The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Ballance's Law of Relativity:
How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Lemar's Parking Postulate:
If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two new parking spaces right in front of the building entrance.

Bell's Theorem:
When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Bess's Universal Principles:
1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Boob's Law:
You always find something the last place you look.

Law of the Search:
The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Maryann's Law:
You can always find what you're not looking for.

Lewis's Law:
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Richard's Complementary Rules of Ownership:
1. If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
2. If you thro anything away, you will need it as soon as it is no longer accessible.

Etorre's Observation:
The other line moves faster.

Worker's Dilemma:
1.No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

Aigener's Axiom:
No matter how well you perform your job, a superior will seek to modify the results.

Shapiro's Law of Reward:
The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Seay's Law:
Nothing ever comes out as planned.

Ringwald's Law of Household Geometry:
Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

Horowitz's Law:
Whenever you turn on the radio, you hear the last few notes of your favourite song.

Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.