Itni Si Khushi

I cannot believe that I haven't written a word since more than two years! It's not just saddening, but also downright depressing. Getting caught up in "life" and not dedicating time to one of my favourite things is eye-opening. I think I have been callous to just let go of this passion, and I want to remedy that. 

Here's me promising myself that I'll write more regularly.

This past weekend, I managed to find some time to relax and do what I love most — read. (What else!) It was because my daughter had a playdate with her best friend, busy doing whatever pre-teenagers do nowadays, and basically not bothering me the whole day.

I enjoyed the day reading and watching some TV, listening to all the screaming coming from the closed  door of my daughter's room. It reminded me of a scene in one of my favourite books, Hotshot Doc by R.S. Grey. It's when Bailey and Matt are in their room, listening to Bailey's sister, Josie, and her friends screaming in the living room. 

The book vividly describes a typical scene of school-going girls hanging out together and having a great time. For them, there are no worries outside that room, and no thoughts outside the very important discussions that they have. As I heard my daughter and her friend arguing and screaming, I could easily relate to that scene. It made me sigh in contentment and joy.

Joy that we as parents can give our kids such precious gifts of time and place to hang out with their friends without adult supervision.

Can you ever remember doing something like that when we were kids? Playing with friends behind closed doors was never even thought of, not because it was not allowed, but because there was never a designated "kids" room. There was always one or the other parent around; if not the parents, then the grandparents. Frankly, not being alone wasn't ever an issue. Like all kids, we were always in our world, unbothered by the spying eyes.

Nevertheless, I'm glad to give the time and place that today's kids need to be on their own and have fun. It doesn't mean that we aren't keeping tabs on what's really happening behind those closed doors. But a bit of privacy is good for everyone. :)

Work From Home, Work At Home, And Home Work

 ... that's our new normal! Each one of us is doing this. I could also add a few more...No Work So At Home, Not Working From Home, Never Want To Work From Home, Enough Of Work From Home....

This new normal has really become a different life from what we had five months ago. Nothing had prepared us for this phase of our life. When we started with this lockdown, we had assumed that it will be short-lived. But now after five months, our lives are irrevocably changed.

Being cooped up at home has changed our lifestyle. We are now spending so much time at home, just looking out of the window that I've now reconciled myself to the feeling of being a caged animal in a zoo. We really don't have a life outside. 

Milk, food, vegetables, groceries, even non-essential items are now delivered to our places. We just open our doors to our cages, get the parcels in and barricade ourselves back in our cages. No wonder zoo animals have such busy lives!

Back in March when the lockdown started, it was summer. The harsh summer set in April and we were glad we weren't out in the scorching sun travelling to work and back. Kids enjoyed extended holidays, exams were canceled, and for them it was heaven being home. Of course they did miss playing outside and meeting friends. But slowly, we all accepted the new normal.

As April galloped into May, our life had turned upside down. Mall visits, evening drives, shopping sprees, friend meetups all morphed into cooking, cleaning, standing in self-distanced queues for essentials, working from home, entertaining kids at home, and surviving on meager supplies. Shops were closed and stepping out of the house was strictly forbidden.

Most of the kids have adapted faster than the parents. They are all tech savvy, attending schools and co-curricular activities online. I've seen kids who are giving interviews online, solving puzzles, learning gaming and coding, all through the internet. Earlier, parents fought to keep the screen time limited for their kids. Now, parents have no choice but to allow kids to learn online.

My family is no exception to these changes. My kiddo attends school three hours a day and then moves on to watch her favourite cartoons and shows online. Add to that the TV that she watches and her screen time has exponentially increased.

 When we keep her away from the screen, she devises different games for us. Some of the games that she has devised are: Danger crossing race, Guess the word, Clock game, Chocolate fair, Running competition, Karate exercises, Dance classes, Mask making competition. Almost every day, she comes up with a new game in which Aaya-Baba are the opponents. The games have elaborate rules, and not adhering to them ends in us getting expelled out of the game, or worse, double punishment. Thankfully, the game conductor is biased towards Aaya, and ensures that Aaya wins most of the time!

The other big part of the day is home work. And I'm not talking about the homework that my girl gets from her school. This is the homework that I need to do that she assigns me.

And that is the reason why I am so very busy these day! Imagine how much writing and work I need to do at home: usual office work, household chores, and my school homework.

The pandemic has brought so many changes in our lives that it is hard to imagine how it was a mere five months ago. We are still unsure of how it will be, or in fact, whether it will ever be completely normal again.

Till then work from home!  

Surviving Corona From Home

I'm writing after a very long time! But thanks to the Corona virus, I've got to be at home, although working, and could spend an hour or so to start blogging again!

I hope all my (meagre) readers are safe and taking the necessary precautions to stay away from the deadly n-COVID-19.

But I feel that being at home is no less life-threatening! Dealing with your spouse, kids, may be in-laws, and self at home for all 24 hours of the day, without a break for a week or more is going to take a toll on our mental health.

It starts right from a place to sit to work from home. The place should be comfortable in which you can stick for at least 4-6 hours at a stretch. It should be airy with good light, and most importantly, where you can receive the home wifi/broadband signal! Network issues with multiple people working are going to be frequent.

If you haven't spare rooms for two people to work together, attending meetings over phone is another challenge. We are used to meeting rooms when we have meetings. There are bound to be funny incidences when the mike is inadvertently left on, and you might hear discussions about what is to be cooked for dinner! Remember to take it all with a pinch of salt, and do not invite yourself for dinner at your colleague's place! You never know, you could be next in line for a mike fiasco!

Some of our colleagues do work from home regularly. We are used to hearing some background sounds such as dogs barking, kids howling, and even doorbells ringing. But in these times, be ready to have your kids around, constantly badgering you to play with them, help them with some task, curiously asking about your work just as you are talking on phone. Just bear with these times, and also enjoy the moments!

In fact, being with our kids and family is something that we rarely get. Enjoy this time with the kids. Just observe what they do the whole day, what they talk, what they think, and interact with them more! You'll probably get to know their humorous side, their wacky side, ingenuity, curiosity, and the fun side too!

Like yesterday, we had gone to get some milk, but we didn't get any. As we returned home on bike, it took me a few minutes to register the fact that my daughter was happily singing "No milk tomorrow! No milk tomorrow!!" (My daughter hates to drink milk, and was overjoyed to know that I wouldn't make her drink milk if there wasn't any at home!)

So stay put! All you know, we might still survive the self-imposed quarantine, and even learn to be more with our family!

Take care everyone!

The Drama Of Fancy Dress

The new year of the school has started. We are covering the portion faster than the last year. And in the middle of all this, we get a notice of a fancy dress competition for the 4-year olds in 3-weeks time.

After last year's experience, we decide to start practising right away to ensure that the little one progresses to the final round! There's a preliminary round, and kids who do well are selected for the final round that takes place a week later.

We started discussing what Mahika wanted to be and she came up with the idea of becoming a house! Oh my!! Couldn't she think of something easier?

So then the journey started of trying to find out what to make, how to make, how feasible it is! By that time a week and a half was already gone.

When I was googling for some ideas, I stumbled upon some videos of kids performing in fancy dress as eggs, and we stuck gold! Mahika now wanted to be an egg!

The next phase of the journey started. I viewed those videos online and came up with some lines that she could learn. I made her practise the lines with appropriate gestures. She too enthusiastically learned the lines without getting irritated by the number of times that I made her repeat them.

We got the costume on rent from a nearby shop and made an egg cutout at home to go with that. Mahika was all excited about the whole fancy dress competition and the egg cutout.

With (more than) enough practice for Mahika (and for me where I had started reading eng. - read ‘engineering’ as ‘egg’), we finally were ready for the D-Day!

The school was thronging with multi-coloured fairies, Barbie dolls, fruits, trees, soldiers, policemen, pilots, farmers, and animals. There were different types of mobile phones, toothpastes and toothbrushes, Dairy Milk, Maggi, Bharat Matas, and vehicles.

A few odd ones that stood out were a newspaper (Mahika had become a newspaper last year-they stole our idea!), an egg (Mahika), a rainy cloud (with an umbrella having cotton on the outside for the fluffy cloud and shiny strings to the umbrella as rain), and a rakhi.

It was a pretty sight! All colourful and exciting! The younger kids were looking apprehensive. The older ones, who had already had a fancy dress last year knew the drill and were looking out for their friends.

Girls and boys with their different props were hustling and bustling to their classes! All those props made me think of how hard the parents had worked! All this for the drama of just a couple of minutes!! So much of trouble, so much hard work…all over within a few minutes!

Some parents had been smart and rented out outfits! Some had painted and cut and coloured and pasted the props themselves. Some others might have just reused items that they already had…There was this little girl who had become a fairy. One of the parents said that the girl must have worn her birthday frock, because every girl must be having a frock like that!

Once all kids had been tucked into their classes, the parents were all outside the closed doors. Only after the school got over did we meet the kids to know how they did! And all we got to know was, “आया, मी छान म्हणाले egg चं !"

All parents thought that their kids had done the best and were expecting that they would be selected for the final round. But only a handful got selected. Mine wasn’t! Frankly, it was a little disappointing! But then, participating is what is important.

To take it in the right note, as one of the parents mentioned, “Thank goodness the kid wasn’t selected! We don’t have to do this fancy dress drama again for the final round!” How true indeed!

The rented outfit is returned and the drama is over! But we still have the egg cutout as a reminder of the good fun we had!!

(पावसाळ्यातले) रस्ते

वर्षा ऋतू असे सुंदर नाव असणारा आणि खरोखरी आनंददायी अश्या ऋतुचीदेखील एक unavoidable आणि त्रासदायक गोष्ट आहेच - रस्ते!

पावसाळ्यातले रस्ते हा सगळ्यांचाच अतिशय जिव्हाळयाचा विषय! कितीही बोललो त्यावर तरी ते कमीच असते. 

कडक उन्हाळा सोडून, पावसाळ्याच्या सुरवातीलाच महापालिकेला रस्ते उखडायचे असतात! बरं ही कामं लवकर आणि वेळच्या वेळेस संपली तर महापालिका कसली! बरोब्बर पावसाळ्याआधी खणलेले रस्ते पहिल्या पावसात धोकादायक डबकी होऊन जातात. "माती, पाणी, उजेड, वारा, तूच मिसळशी सर्व पसारा" हे वाक्य तंतोतंत खरं व्हावं, ह्याकरता अविरत धडपड चालू असते खोदणाऱ्यांची. 

मग भर पावसात गाडी ह्या अग्निदिव्यातून, सॉरी, पाणीदिव्यातून नेण्याची परीक्षा आपली. प्रत्येक डबकं हे जेव्हडं खोल, रुंद, आणि भरीव असेल तेव्हढं कसब वाहनचालकांना लावावं लागतं. मला वाटतं महापालिका ही असली डबकी मुद्दाम बनवते. पावसाळ्याच्या ऋतूत RTO च काम कमी व्हावं असा सुप्त हेतू असणार. कारण ह्या डबक्यांना avoid करत तुम्ही गाडी zigzag चालवू शकलात तरंच तुम्हाला गाडी 'हाकायचा' परवाना मिळणार असे RTO चा गुप्त नियम असणार. 

खड्डे चुकवीत अथवा तुडवीत गाडी चालवून अगदी हेच आठवतं: "फिरत्या चाकांवरती पाठीला होतात विकार, बाईक असो वा कार!" म्हणजे खरं तर ह्या खड्डयांमुळेच कित्येक orthopaedic डॉक्टर्सचा गुजारा चालू आहे. जनकल्याणाचे अखंड कार्य पालिकाच करू शकते. 

पण त्याशिवाय अश्या खड्ड्यातून जाण्याची एक गम्मत आहे खरी. तुमची जर लहानपणची उंटावरून सैर करायची हौस राहिली असेल तर ती खड्ड्यातून जाताना पूर्ण होईल. तुमच्या पुढ्यात एखादी गाडी नाही हे बघून खड्ड्यातून जाताना ५ सेकंद डोळे मिटा... तुम्ही स्वतः उंट चालवत आहात असे नक्कीच जाणवेल तुम्हाला!

अश्या पावसाळ्यातल्या जलमय रस्त्यांवरून तुम्ही तुमच्या इष्ट स्थानी वेळेत आणि धड पोचलात तर तुम्हाला "सर्वात जागृत वाहनचालक" ही पदवी मिळेल असे पालिकाने जाहीर केल्याचे ऐकिवात आहे! पहिला मानकरी कोण असेल?

New Year New School

Mahika started her new school today. It must have been quite an experience for the little girl. New place, new teachers, unknown faces, unknown surroundings, and new friends. But like all new kids, she put up with it rather bravely.

The day started with us all waking up early, getting ready, and starting for school on time. We reached the school well before time to see a whole crowd waiting at the school gate. Various school vans, buses, cars, bikes were parked on the road. All parents with their little ones were gathered together waiting for the gate to open.

After waiting for around 25 minutes, the gate was finally opened. There was a huge rush to go in, just like entering a theatre for a movie. A total chaos reigned for some time where nobody knew which line was for which class, and how long it would take to go in. In the big rush, students and parents were all cramped towards the gate, sweating, and getting irritated by the minute.

But even in that big rush, the little ones were really brave. I couldn't hear anybody crying. Every little one was anxious, and fearful of what lay ahead. But they all were very forbearing and brave. Kudos to the little ones!

As we entered, we could see the school buildings, playground, and the surroundings. We all took our kids to their respective classes and left them at the doorstep.

It was a big moment. My little girl had grown up to go to a big school. Her eyes were so expressive, full of anxiety and fear, yet trying to be brave, and holding back her tears. Although not completely heart-wrenching to see her go, I did feel a little shaken to see her sitting in a strange place, coping it up with everything. Brave sweetheart!!

All parents waited outside the gate for the first day of the school to get over. We formed groups and talked about the school, studies, experiences of interviews in different schools, and remembered our own school time.

Soon enough time was up, and all parents again gathered at the gate. A few first goers returned with crying kids and there was an eerie silence around. Each parent was wondering how his/her kid was.

I picked up Mahika from her class. She did cry for some time on the first day, but was a bit settled as I picked her up. Today, she didn't cry at all. Bless you!

The first hurdle is crossed. More to go. But to start well is half done!

I am proud of you dear Mahika!

Respecting Elders?

I had a peculiar experience a few months back. I've been wanting to write about it, but never got the time.

I had gone to a nice cake shop that I always go to. It was around 4.30-4.45 in the evening. There wasn't enough staff and a few customers were waiting to place their orders. I too was waiting patiently for my turn.

Just then an elderly lady walked in. She was very well-dressed, perfectly manicured and pedicured, wearing comfortable western wear, with a hint of mild makeup. She seemed a bit of a socialite, frankly.

The moment she entered, she blurted out her order to the first member of the staff that she laid her
eyes on. He just nodded to her and continued looking after the customers who had arrived before her. She just couldn't seem to have the patience to wait. She rudely kept on calling out her order till the staff had to tell her to wait.

She then said that the cake shop needed more staff, because they couldn't keep so many customers waiting. The staff member said that some of the other members had gone out for lunch. The old lady looked at her watch incredulously and wondered how could anybody have lunch that late.

By the time this conversation happened, my order was ready. I paid and left the shop. I don't know how soon she got her order. However it made me think.

I just could not respect that lady despite her age. She was extremely rude and inconsiderate. When I heard that some of the staff were having lunch that late, I felt very sorry for them. It was because of the customers that the staff couldn't have their lunch on time.

Instead of being accommodating, the old lady was disbelieving and rude. It hardly takes time to be generous to others. As you grow older, you learn to be less selfish and more gracious.

Can you respect the elderly even when they behave so meanly and selfishly?

Side Effects Of Being A Mother Of A Toddler

As your baby grows into a toddler, the Side Effects of Being a Mother slightly diminish and you develop the following side effects of being the mother of a toddler:

• You can sing all nursery rhymes, even those that you never knew in your childhood.
• You keep humming the nursery rhymes throughout the day.
• You are unaware of any new film songs, or for that matter any new films.
• Your diet has changed from 'bahar ka khana' to 'ghar ka healthy khana' to benefit your kid.
• You keep on searching for newer recipes for snacks and breakfast.
• You use the new vocabulary that your kid has developed. You'll probably use all those words when you are at office and with friends. You'll also use the same phrases and the same intonation.
• As a mother, you would be the only person who really understands your kid's language.
• Your friends and colleagues are most probably bored to death by listening to your kid's stories.
• Your schedule still revolves around the toddler and becomes a little difficult when it is disrupted.
• You have most probably gone through the kid-starts-school phase and gone through the heart-wrenching 'rona-dhona'. If you haven't yet, you'll soon go through that and you must steel yourself for that.
• In gardens and public places, especially in society parks, every parent will ask you your kid's age. The immediate question thereafter is which school you've chosen for the kid. The third question is the fee structure, followed by the board of education, and where do you keep the kid when not in school.
• You'll secretly compare your kid to the other kids of the same age and pride yourself on your kid's progress.
• You'll hear at least 75% of mothers complain to each other about how the kids eat nothing or are extremely fussy eaters.
• Ultimately, though you love every phase of your kid's childhood, you'll remember your kid's baby days and wonder how fast time has flown.

The English-Speaking Rickshaw Driver

Yesterday I boarded a rickshaw to return home. It was a Saturday, around 5.30 PM, and I was
returning from an exciting day.

As we took a turn, the driver asked me why it was so less crowded today, and whether it was because it was a Saturday. I just nodded, not ready to delve in any kind of conversation.

In a few more moments, the driver started talking about how he was learning English from his son and telling incidents about his passengers.

He told me about two Iranian girls who had boarded his rickshaw. One of the girls wanted him to go faster and faster. So his answer to her requests was, "Next time you call me, I'll come on bike."

He narrated how he was learning "good manners" and had a good sense of humor. He narrated another incident of how he replied to one of his customers by saying that he was "at your service."

He also asked me whether I knew who the father of the constitution was. When I answered correctly, he showed me some script tatooted on his right forearm.

He told me right at the start of the conversation that he was learning English from his son. But then he also quoted quite a lot of sayings in English. I thought that either he was too good at his studies to learn so much so quickly, or else he was lying about how he had just started learning.

Frankly, I was a little unhinged.

He probably had really good intentions. He didn't make any untoward remarks. He did seem respectable and honorable. But still I couldn't really be comfortable.

I just couldn't figure out whether he was real or fake, and what he really had in mind.

I still keep on thinking whether it was necessary to judge him. But I cannot help but also think that in today's world, one cannot be too free with strangers, especially those who start a conversation without any reason, and who try to be too familiar and pleasing.

My suspicion made me stop the ride a little further away from home. I didn't want to take the risk of letting him know my home.

It was kind of a muddled experience.

Review: The Golden Notebook

I admit, I took up the novel, The Golden Notebook only after reading about Doris Lessing's death. And I
have a feeling that that must have happened for such other writers too.

I started the 500 plus pages novel with some trepidation. It's been awarded the Nobel Award for Literature and I was sure it was going to be a bit deep and difficult to understand. I was also not sure how soon I would be able to complete it. Moreover, the synopsis promised to be intriguing and and frankly a bit tedious and complicated.

I had expected the novel to be a commentary on life, how people lived in the 1950s. And perhaps it is. But I just could not relate to it. Let me get into the details.

The story is about Anna Wulf. But the way the novel starts, I thought it was about Molly. It starts with Molly, her son Tommy, and her ex-husband Richard. The initial part is focused on these characters and it's only when Anna goes back home after visiting Molly (when the story begins) did I realize that it was Anna the protagonist, not Molly.

Anna is a single-novel writer whose first novel has earned tremendous success. She is living off the royalties of the book. She is a divorced single mother of a twelve year old girl, Janet. She has a huge flat and rents out the upper room to people. Ivor, Ronnie, and the last one Saul Green are a part of the story and affect Anna's live in a peculiar way.

The novel is divided in different parts called "The Notebooks" and "The Free Women". There's one part called "The Golden Notebook" about which I will try to talk about later. The "Notebook" parts are the diaries that Anna maintains, four of them. Red, blue, yellow, and black. Frankly, I still haven't understood why four of them, and what each one contains.

The dairies are full of her nostalgia for the life that she spent in Africa, especially the hotel in Mashopi. Later they move on to minute details of her day to day life, dealings with her renters, Molly, Janet, her boyfriend(s), and her work. I got tired after a point. It was too much details and too many things. Anna keeps on talking about the same things again and again and it becomes tedious and frustrating.

The "Free Women" parts are third-person narratives of what is actually happening with their lives. That was much more interesting that Anna's diaries.

I haven't understood what Doris achieved by this novel. Perhaps she didn't want to achieve anything at all. She was trying out a new form of writing. But then, why write so much then, over 500 pages?

I couldn't understand Anna. She just goes on living each day without doing anything...she just writes in her diaries, feels depressed all the time, is nervous and is always waiting for her boyfriend. She cooks for him, goes grocery shopping, reads newspapers, and overall just stays put in her flat. I wonder if this really was the life of women in the 1950s. It's no wonder that Anna feels depressed and lonely.

Molly and Anna call themselves "free women". But always are they talking about men, sex, affairs, and overall waiting for love to happen. Are they really free then? Anna especially seems a psychotic woman, who cannot live in the present but in her past and in her wild thoughts of nervousness and jealousy. It is a rather disturbing character.

I didn't like Doris's language too. There are just too many words. I haven't liked her style where the adjectives she uses to describe people, events, objects are really her own thoughts. She wants the readers to feel the same feeling and emotion that she has felt. It's like she spells out what you must feel as you read, no space for interpretation. Her words are very strong and overwhelming.

Doris has repeated the same story again and again in the novel. Anna writes a story that reflects her relationship with Molly. It is not hard to see the similarities and I kept wondering what's the need of the double stories. I still haven't understood why so many layers to tell the same story repeatedly. Or I am a dumbo and cannot understand the depth of the novel.

The synopsis says that the "The Golden Notebook" is what will help Anna to recovery. But when I read it, I got more confused. I am now not sure whether the part about Saul Green should be taken as the events that really happened in Anna's life or whether it's a story that Anna writes. If it's a story, then Anna doesn't need a recovery. She is fine already. If it's real, then it's Anna who needs to see a doc to get out of the mental mess.

Doris's language is very strong and at times weird. I felt at a loss with her punctuation and writing style. Pages and pages of a single paragraph. it took my breath away to finish one paragraph. It would have been so easy to break down the words in different paragraphs. But perhaps I am speaking from the point of view of minimalism. (My profession comes in between my understanding of Doris's writing style.) And she has used sentences such as this: "However." Now what does that mean? I really could not get it.

Overall, I heaved a sigh of relief that the novel was finally over. I really had high expectations from it because it won the Nobel. But to tell the truth, I was disappointed.

Does such writing get Nobel? Then why not the essays that we wrote during our graduation and post graduation? May be because the essays we wrote were too simple to understand and did not contain any reference to communism!

Change Of Status

It's been months and months since I have posted here. The last one was in October when I was staying at my mom's place. Now so many things have changed.

I have now moved to a place closer to office, staying apart from in-laws. It was such fun to set up my own place, decide where to put what, buy the required utensils, and generally manage the household. It definitely is a job to keep a tab on all things in the house: grocery, washing, cleaning, changing of bed linen, ensuring guests have the required things, bathrooms are cleaned, maids are kept in check, monthly expenses are monitored. But I love doing all this and enjoy it immensely.

Being closer to office means I don't have to travel a lot. It also means that Sanjeev can pop up home earlier and whenever required.

Having my own place means my relatives and my parents can visit me without inhibition. I can do whatever I can, place things the way I want them, and generally be the queen of the hive. :)

But most importantly, what has changed is my status. In April, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. I am now not only a wife, but also a mother. And that makes all the difference.

My daughter - Mahika is two months old now. And these days have gone in a whiz. My mother still works, so she could come and support me only for some time. Now I am alone managing a two-month old baby and the entire household. It is tiring, trying, and frustrating at times. But it is fun.

I am on maternity leave now. After few more months, I'll start working again. I don't know how my daughter will cope up with that or how she will react. There's still some time for that.

But the new status of motherhood is a lot of things. It definitely is fun. But it is also a big responsibility. As a mother, I need to take care of so many things for the baby. Playing with the baby, feeding, nursing, bathing, nappy changing, all those things are obviously there. But what comes naturally is the unconditional love that is showered on the baby. Even with the sleepless nights, frustrating times, and constant attention that the baby requires, one look at the baby and you know you can do anything for it.

So far, things have gone well. I am sure I'll enjoy it more as Mahika grows. Sanjeev and I are both tremendously happy that we have a daughter. Now, it's impossible to think of a world without her. Bless you Mahika!

मांजर

गेल्या  आठवड्यात, मी आणि संजीव जेवायला गेलो रात्री बाहेर. तसा उशीर झाला होता. गप्पा आणि जेवण होई पर्यंत रात्रीचे अकरा वाजले. हॉटेल मधून बाहेर पडलो तेव्हा नेहेमी सारखे valet पार्किंग करता दिलेली गाडीची किल्ली मिळाली आणि आम्ही गाडीच्या दिशेने चालायला लागलो.

जेवण छानच झाले होते, त्यात गप्पा पण भरपूर झाल्या होत्या. एकंदरीत तृप्त वातावरणात घरी जायच्या विचारात आम्ही होतो.

तितक्यात छोट्या मांजरीच्या पिल्लाचा आवाज आला. मी आजूबाजूला बघून आवाज कोठून येत आहे ह्याचा शोध घ्यायला सुरु केला, पण काही केल्या मांजर दिसेना. संजीवने गाडी पार्किंग मधून काढण्यास सुरु केली, आणि अचानक मला ते पिल्लू आमच्याच गाडीच्या खालून ओरडत आहे असे लक्षात आले.

मी संजीवला सांगितले गाडी हळूच मागे घ्यायला जेणे करून ते पिल्लू आपोआप मागे राहील आणि गाडीच्या खालून बाहेर पडेल. पण पिल्लू इरसाल निघालं. जशी गाडी मागे जात होती, तसं ते अजून पुढे-पुढे जात होत. पिल्लाला काही गाडीच्या खालून बाहेर पडायचं नव्हतं.

आता आली का पंचाईत! आमची गाडी रस्त्याच्या मधोमध तिरकी, त्यात चालक बसलेला. गाडी सुरु होती, पण गाडी ना पुढे नेता येत, ना मागे.

पार्किंग attendant च्या लक्षात आले काही तरी गडबड आहे, म्हणून तो आला विचारायला. त्याला सांगितले की गाडी खाली मांजर आहे. तो प्रयत्न करू लागला पिल्लाला हुस्कावायला. पण पिल्लू हुशार निघालं. एक माणूस आपल्याला आपल्या लपायच्या जागेतून बाहेर काढत आहे ते त्याला समजलं. त्याने अजून एक युक्ती केली. पुढच्या चाकावर जाऊन बसलं. attendant  अजूनही "छुत छुत" करून पिल्लाला हाकलायचा प्रयत्न करत होता.

मांजर आता चाकावर बसल्याने गाडीला हलवणे अशक्य झाले होते. गाडी रस्त्यात तिरकी बंद पडलेली दिसते, काही मदत लागत आहे का बघावी ह्या उद्देशाने एका बाईक वरून दोघे जण गाडीजवळ आले.

"गाडी बंद पडली आहे का? काही मदत करू का?" अशी विचारपूस केली.

"अहो, बंद नाही पडलेली. चाकावर मांजर शिरून बसलंय. हालातच नाहीये"

"काय?! चाकावर मांजर कसं काय चढलं?"

"गाडीखाली लपलं होतं. बाहेर काढत होतो आम्ही, तर चाकावर चढून बसलं."

हा संवाद चालू असताना पिल्लाने अजून एक पराक्रम केला. चाकावरून चक्क आत bonnet मधेच शिरलं. गाडीचं  इंजिन चालू होतंच, मस्त गरम-गरम ऊबदार ठिकाणी बसायची जागा पटकावली. आता मात्र हद्द झाली! आता पिल्लाला बाहेर काढायचं कसं?

एका बाजूला हा गोंधळ सुरु होता तर नेमकं त्याच वेळेस संजीवच्या ऑफिस मधली एक मैत्रीण तिच्या होणाऱ्या नवऱ्याबरोबर त्याच हॉटेलच्या बाहेर उभी असलेली संजीवने बघितली. तिचे पण लक्ष गेले तर ती आली आमच्याशी बोलायला. तिच्या होणाऱ्या नवऱ्याची ओळख करून देऊ लागली.

माझे तर काही लक्षच नव्हते तिच्या बोलण्याकडे. ओळख करून दिली तिने तसं "hi" वगैरे बोलून झालं. पण चिंता होती की ते पिल्लू बाहेर काढायचं कसं. ज्या वेळेस ओळख करून देणं  चालू होतं, त्या वेळेस आमच्या गाडीच्या bonnet  मध्ये चार अनोळखी लोकांची डोकी खुपसून मांजरीला शोधणे सुरु होते.

आता ह्या चार डोक्यांमध्ये आतून आलेला वेटर पण शामिल झाला. एका माणसाने त्याच्या मोबाईलचा flash light चालू केला.

"अरे, ती बघा तिथे आहे, दिसली का?"

"कुठे?"

"तिथे खोपच्यात बसली आहे."

"हां, हां, दिसली. हात जातोय का बघ ना."

"इंजिन गरम आहे. आणि जागा नाहीये हात घालायला."

तेव्हड्यात कोणीतरी खराट्याच्या दोन काड्या आणल्या. bonnet मध्ये घालून, मांजरीला हुसकावण्याचा प्रयत्न करत होते. पण काही केल्या पिल्लू बाहेर येईना. अखंड "म्याव म्याव" चालूच होतं.

सगळा गोंधळ बघून मैत्रिणीचा आणि तिच्या होणाऱ्या नवऱ्याचा प्रश्न, "गाडी बंद पडली आहे का? मेकानिक ला बोलवायचा का? अर्ध्या तासात येईल मदत."

"अहो, गाडी ठीक आहे. गाडीला काही नाही झालेलं. bonnet मध्ये मांजर शिरली आहे."

"मांजर कशी काय शिरली? रिट्झ गाडी मध्ये शिरते माहित होतं, पण तुमच्या असल्या गाडीत पण शिरेल वाटलं  नव्हतं."

"आता माहित झालं ना!" मी माझ्या मनात म्हटलं.

तेवढ्यात कोणाच्या डोक्यात कल्पना सुचली माहित नाही, पण कोणी तरी पाण्याची बादली घेऊन आलं. मोबाईलच्या flash light च्या अंधुक प्रकाशात नेमकी मांजर कुठे बसली आहे ह्याचा अंदाज घेऊन पाणी ओतलं गेलं. तसं त्या पिल्लाने बचावात्मक पवित्रा घेऊन bonnet मधून बाहेर पडण्याचा निर्णय घेतला. पण पूर्णपणे बाहेर न येता, पुन्हा एकदा चाकावर बसण्यास पसंती दिली.

"निघाली, निघाली! गाडी खाली दिसत आहे का?"

"नाही खाली नाही आली अजुन."

"मग आवाज कुठून येत आहे?"

"अरे ही बघा, परत चाकावर बसली आहे."

"अरे घाल बिनधास्त हात. पिल्लाला काय घाबरतोस! चाकावर आहे तर पकडून काढ बाहेर!" असा सल्ला देणाऱ्या गृहस्थाच्या मित्राने शेवटी हिम्मत करून, चाकावर नखाने घट्ट पकडून बसलेल्या, बिथरलेल्या, बिचाऱ्या पिल्लाला सुखरूप बाहेर काढले आणि आम्ही सुटकेचा निःश्वास टाकला!

वीस मिनिटे चाललेल्या नाटकाचा अंत शेवटी आम्ही सगळ्या अनोळखी लोकांच्या आभार प्रदर्शनाने केला. म्हणजे प्रसंग असा होता की गाडी आमची, पण आम्ही काहीही करू शकलो नाही. बाकीच्याच सर्व लोकांनी अथक प्रयत्न करून पिल्लाला तर वाचवलेच, पण आमची पण सुटका केली.

मांजर हे कुठे कुठे शिरू शकतं हे त्या दिवशी मला उमगले. 

रात्रीचे भजन

काल जन्माष्टमी. मुरली मनोहराचा आगमनाचा दिवस. खरं तर रात्र. रात्री झालेला जन्म आपल्या कृष्णाचा.
ह्या शुभ रात्री शेजारच्या मारुतीच्या देवळात रात्री साधारण दहाच्या सुमारास भजन सुरु झाले. रात्री श्रीकृष्णाचा जन्म होई पर्यंत चालू असावे.

असावे म्हणाले कारण मला भजन संपायच्या आधीच झोप लागली. खूप शांत झोप. कित्येक वर्षांत भजन ऐकता-ऐकता झोपण्याचे भाग्य लाभले नव्हते. ते काल रात्री जमले.

खरे तर भजन म्हणणाऱ्या लोकांचे आवाज काही खूप खास नव्हते. पण तरीही खूप तन्मयतेने भजन चालू होते. टाळ-मृदुंग, आणि हरी नामाचा जप ह्याने आसमंत दुमदुमून गेला होता. हवेतील कुंद गारवा भजनाचे आवाज दश-दिशांना घुमवत होता.

मला आठवण झाली काही वर्षांपूर्वीची. आमच्या घराजवळच्या मारुतीच्या मंदिरात दररोज रात्री भजन होत असे. तेव्हा रात्री झोपताना भजनाचे हलके स्वर आणि टाळ. खूप आल्हादायक वातावरण व्हायचे. तेच काल रात्री अनुभवायला मिळाले.

आज-काल भजन पण ओघानेच ऐकायला मिळते. गावा-पाड्यात अजून होत असतील रात्रीची. पण शहरात अभावानेच.

भजनाकरिता काही सुरेख आवाज असण्याची गरज नाही. मनात भाव असला की ते थेट अंतःकरणात भिडते. म्हणूनच भजन म्हणायला कोणी "Indian Idols" लागत नाहीत. भोळे-भाबडे, कष्टकरी लोक जमवले की झाले.

थोड्याच वर्षांमध्ये आपले म्हातारे-कोतारे लोके पण नाहीशी होतील, तेव्हा भजन म्हणजे काय हे सुद्धा
सांगणारे उरणार नाहीत. तोवर आपण भजनाच्या रंगी रंगून जाऊयात. 

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

In a budding relationship, with all the trust, love, and faith you have in the other person, it is necessary to let bygones be bygones.

Whether you are in office, with acquaintances, with your family and loved ones, you cannot build on hostile feelings. You need to sit back one day and try and understand what is really holding you up.

When in office, you may come across some of your colleagues with whom you are not comfortable. Yet you need to work along with them. Sometimes, it is much easy to ignore the little quirks that may irritate you as long as the work is done. You can easily do that, because after all, it's for a short time that you are together with that person.

Eventually, you get used to the person and the whims and fancies. You come to accept the person as he or she is until your work is getting done and until that person is not a real hindrance to your job, position, and progress. If someone is a hindrance, dealing with that person is an entirely different story.

But on a personal level, what do you do? When a person irritates you, gets on your nerves, and does not let you be, what can you do?

Sometimes, it's best to ignore. But, it certainly is not easy to ignore and let go. Then at times, you don't know how to deal with a person who cannot understand you, is really self-centered, doesn't give you the required space, cannot understand your point of view, is obstinate, and has entirely different goals.

That's the time when you sit down and make each other understand what the goals are. The short-term goals and the long-term ones too. It is time to sit down and clarify things, make each other understand what you like, what you don't.

Mind you, it's not easy to see through somebody else's point of view. Most of the times, the person who has felt dejected, unloved, and lonely will feel themselves to be martyrs. And for you, that person may seem to be the culprit for all the wrong things that have happened.

You wouldn't be able to forget the smaller fights, the real big fights, and the hurt that has been caused because of being headstrong, stubborn, and unhelpful.

That's when you need to keep patience. Handle each situation very, very delicately. Put forth your points, your ideas in a way that will help the other person see your perspective. The other person may not believe in your perspective, but will at least understand that, finally, that is what your feel. And the most important factor in all this is not to keep reminding oneself of all the fights and hurt in the past. For some time at least, you must keep them away. Keep them on the back burner.

You may want to pick on them again when the issues at hand are resolved. But it is extremely important that at the time when you are trying to patch up things, you let bygones be bygones. Slowly and surely, the soreness, the feeling of being hurt and unhappy fades away. A real understanding between each other develops. That's when peace will return!

Just A Small Gesture Made All The Difference

It was a Saturday and the roads were quite busy. We were on bike and there was a small truck ahead of us.
We were trying to overtake the truck when the cleaner who sits on the left signalled us to wait before overtaking. Sanjeev patiently waited till he signalled back that we could now overtake the truck.

As we passed the truck, Sanjeev waved to him. He smiled a big smile. I waved back too. And the way he smiled was so beautiful.

All along the way, he had been guiding other vehicles, allowing them to overtake, or signalling them to wait their turn. He was an old man, with missing teeth, unshaven face, and yet with a beautiful smile.

We both waving to him was such a wonderful thing. He smiled a smile that brought tears in my eyes. He was so happy to be acknowledged for the small work that he was doing. Perhaps for him it was nothing extraordinary. But to get attention for your routine work, to be acknowledged and thanked for that, was great for him. His face expressed the sincerity and truthfulness that he had. His old, wrinkled face that was full of the wisdom of so many years exuded the childlike joy that he felt when we acknowledged him.

When he waved back, it was just like waving back to his own kids, and giving them that lovely smile that makes your heart jump with joy.

Just a small effort from us was needed to make that man feel happy and loved and acknowledged. Perhaps he will remember us some day, perhaps he won't. But I will always remember that old man's blissful face. I will remember how it seemed like he was blessing when he waved back to us.

The man was certainly old, but I do wish that in the remainder of his life, he stays happy.

Just one gesture makes so much of difference in the world. World is beautiful! Let's try and make it more beautiful!

Growing Up

What does it take to have a better life? Love, friends, family, work, peace of mind, happiness, safety and security, togetherness, understanding partner, overall stability, people who treat you well and never let your down?

I think all this together. Man is a rather selfish animal. Apart from food, water, sleep, and physical well-being, there are so many more things that man requires to survive. We need love and acceptance from our partner, friends, colleagues, relatives, acquaintances. That's one of the most important requirements apart from the basic needs. If that's not fulfilled, if you are not accepted as you are, as the person that you are, you will always be dissatisfied, frustrated, and driven to craziness.

As you move upwards in life, you grow. People around you grow and change. You metamorphose into someone that you never thought of as you started your journey. A simple example is how you are at the start of your career. Ten years down the line, when you sit back and look back at the time that's gone past, would you say you had foreseen yourself there where you are? Very few can. Very few have such chalked out careers. But all will certainly have matured over those years. Each one would have learnt so much and experienced so much that you would definitely agree that you are someone who was not so ten years before.

Today when I was chatting with a very good friend, I was talking about what I was when I started my career. I was so naive, so untamed, so untrained. I was so coarse. Today, after eight years, I know I have grown. I have experienced different types of people and learnt to deal with them. I have learnt so much technically, something that I never could have thought of eight years back. And I am so much more confident today.

I always remember Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth remains unfazed by the pomposity and grandeur of Lady Catherine's home and person. A few years back, I used to feel diminished even thinking of facing and interacting with highly technical people, developers, and engineers. I used to feel that I would never be able to face them because of my lack of technical knowledge. But today, like Elizabeth, I feel unfazed. I can meet them with an equanimity which has come with experience and learning. And I am happy about it.

Growing up also includes an important aspect of knowing what you don't know. Realising what you are not good at and striving to achieve an acceptable level of knowledge in that.

I had attended a training in April in which I learnt to eat the ugliest frog first. In simple terms, it means that if there's something that you find the hardest to do, you should always do that first. Get that out of the door and the work will become much lighter. In some ways, I've started using that in my work as well as personal life. It's working too. :)

That's how things are currently. I am growing and I am happy.

Tiring World

Too much work, too many things to do. Spending a lot of time on office work. Not getting enough sleep. Too many hassles at work. Too many egos to handle. Sometimes too much expectation. At times, taking a lot of shit from people. Collaborating with people. Giving help to all. But getting back roughness! Expectations that you should take the first step (as usual) because you are smarter. That's damn tiring and disillusioning!

Because you are too helping, and  too accommodating, you are expected to change. But then you have your limits.

All this happens when release comes closer!

But it will pass soon (I hope!)

God speed!

समाधी साधन…

हे भक्तीगीत ऐकले की मी एकदम वेगळ्याच जगात जाते. जुने दिवस आठवतात. घरातले त्या वेळेला घडलेल्या घटना जशाच्या तशा डोळ्यांपुढे राहतात. खरं तर त्या घटना काही एकदम वेगळ्या अशा नाहीत. पण कसे कोण जाणे, पण ह्या गाण्याचे आणि त्या गोष्टींचे एक association झाले आहे माझ्या मनात.

कालंच ऑफिस मधून परतत असताना हे गाणं कारमध्ये ऐकलं. डोळ्यांसमोर पहिली गोष्ट उभी राहिली ती म्हणजे पाठमोरी आई ओट्याजवळ, चपात्या करताना. वेळ आहे सकाळी पावणे आठची.

आणि मग पूर्ण दृश्य उभे रहिले. शाळेचे आणि कॉलेजचे दिवस आठवले. आई सकाळी उठून आमचा डबा बनवायची. त्या वेळेस आमच्याकडे चपात्या करायला बाई नव्हती. आईच करायची. तिच्या चपात्यापण किती मस्त व्हायच्या. एकदम खुसखुशीत, माऊ, आणि ताज्या. तव्यावरची एक गरम-गरम चपाती घ्यावी, आणि नुसती खावी. काय स्वाद असायचा! मला 'समाधी साधन' हे बाबूजींचे गाणे ऐकले की तो चपात्यांचा घमघमाट पण येतो.

आम्ही कायम उशीरा उठायचो शिकत होतो तेव्हा. आई दररोज ओरडायची. चपात्या करत असताना स्वयंपाक घरातून आवाज द्यायची. सकाळी सात पासून. आम्ही कसे-बसे आठ-सव्वा आठला उठायचो. तो पर्यंत आईची भाजी टाकून झालेली असायची आणि चपात्या सुरु झालेल्या असायच्या. 

बरोब्बर त्याच वेळेस सकाळी रेडिओवर भक्तीसंगीत लागायचे. अजूनही लागते म्हणा. बरोब्बर त्या वेळेस उठणं व्हायचं. बाबा काम करत असायचे, सकाळच्या आवरा-आवरीचे. आणि आम्ही निवांत कशा-बशा उठणार. "किती हाका मारतेस!" असे म्हणतच उठायचो. 

मग आमची हळू-हळू गाडी सरकणार पुढे आवरायला. आरामात तयार होवून, मग शाळा अथवा कॉलेजला स्वारी निघणार. तो पर्यंत आई-बाबा, दोघांचे आवरायचे, आणि ते पण त्यांच्या कामांना बाहेर पडायचे. 

सगळ्यांचाच नवा दिवस सुरु व्हायचा, भक्ती संगीताने आणि खमंग चपात्यामुळे!

Shakespearean Words By Baba

It is not the thing in itself that is good or bad.
It is the maker of the thing and what thou thinkest of him
That makes it thus or thus.
Done by the one, it is remarkable,
Done by the other, it is reprehensible.
Done by the one, it is commendable,
Done by the other, it is condemnable.
And thereby hangs many a tale.

Story behind these lines

Baba: Can you recall from which Shakespearean play these lines are?
(He recited the lines.)
Me: Are they from The Winter's Tale?
Baba: (Smiling cheekily, pointing to himself) They are by this Shakespeare!

Amazing what Baba can come up with!

Baba As A Teacher

Baba has always been a great teacher, be it English grammar, Sanskrit shlokas, English literature, and even Marathi literature. He has always helped us understand the grammar rules and the logical ways of learning a language. And he has always been a humorous teacher. He would explain things in a funny way, giving funny anecdotes, play on words and bring out the humor in the language.

But of all this, I become proudest when I hear his praises from his students. All over Pune, somewhere in a mall, on a road, in a hotel, in a ticket line, we come across his students. All of them say that he has not changed a bit since all those years. They name the students from the batch, the year when he taught them.

Baba never remembers them. He never remembers names or faces. But his students remember him even after so many years. That, I think is the sign of the greatness of a person. That people remember him even after so many years, including the way Baba taught, what subjects he taught, his jokes, his personality. That is when I feel proudest!

I feel emotional and extremely happy to see his students bowing down to take his blessings. I grin madly when I hear the students telling their spouses or friends who are with them about how wonderful a teacher he was, how much it has affected them, and how much they still remember him.

Baba has taught students of standard five to right up to the university. Now-a-days he teaches English to students appearing for competitive exams. There have been so many cases where students have remembered him in the smallest possible ways and repaid him.

I remember a Bengali student, Shaunak, who used to come home to learn English. After he passed his exams with flying colours, his parents had specially come to present Baba a gift. They had also gifted Aai a saree. Frankly, it was completely unnecessary to gift a saree to Aai. But that was the power of Baba's teaching and Aai's hospitality.

Another incident that happened recently was when a student offered them a trip to Goa, all costs paid. It is extraordinary how people have reciprocated their appreciation and love. And I love it all. I say it again, I feel extremely proud.

I am so glad to have a father like Baba. My sister and I have been really lucky. Love you Baba!