How Is It Going?

How is it going? That's what you tend to ask when you meet others after a long time. I too haven't frequented my blog site for a really long time. I do have a lot of topics to write on. But no time to pen down the thoughts.

Life has been really too busy: following a routine of school, office, home, weekends, festivals, and back to square one. I had a break from school and office during Diwali. But Diwali tends to be more hectic than the usual routine.

At work, there are multiple releases in the following months and it's going to be busier. I am really looking forward to a very nice vacation at the end of the year. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

रात्रीचे भजन

काल जन्माष्टमी. मुरली मनोहराचा आगमनाचा दिवस. खरं तर रात्र. रात्री झालेला जन्म आपल्या कृष्णाचा.
ह्या शुभ रात्री शेजारच्या मारुतीच्या देवळात रात्री साधारण दहाच्या सुमारास भजन सुरु झाले. रात्री श्रीकृष्णाचा जन्म होई पर्यंत चालू असावे.

असावे म्हणाले कारण मला भजन संपायच्या आधीच झोप लागली. खूप शांत झोप. कित्येक वर्षांत भजन ऐकता-ऐकता झोपण्याचे भाग्य लाभले नव्हते. ते काल रात्री जमले.

खरे तर भजन म्हणणाऱ्या लोकांचे आवाज काही खूप खास नव्हते. पण तरीही खूप तन्मयतेने भजन चालू होते. टाळ-मृदुंग, आणि हरी नामाचा जप ह्याने आसमंत दुमदुमून गेला होता. हवेतील कुंद गारवा भजनाचे आवाज दश-दिशांना घुमवत होता.

मला आठवण झाली काही वर्षांपूर्वीची. आमच्या घराजवळच्या मारुतीच्या मंदिरात दररोज रात्री भजन होत असे. तेव्हा रात्री झोपताना भजनाचे हलके स्वर आणि टाळ. खूप आल्हादायक वातावरण व्हायचे. तेच काल रात्री अनुभवायला मिळाले.

आज-काल भजन पण ओघानेच ऐकायला मिळते. गावा-पाड्यात अजून होत असतील रात्रीची. पण शहरात अभावानेच.

भजनाकरिता काही सुरेख आवाज असण्याची गरज नाही. मनात भाव असला की ते थेट अंतःकरणात भिडते. म्हणूनच भजन म्हणायला कोणी "Indian Idols" लागत नाहीत. भोळे-भाबडे, कष्टकरी लोक जमवले की झाले.

थोड्याच वर्षांमध्ये आपले म्हातारे-कोतारे लोके पण नाहीशी होतील, तेव्हा भजन म्हणजे काय हे सुद्धा
सांगणारे उरणार नाहीत. तोवर आपण भजनाच्या रंगी रंगून जाऊयात. 

What Is Important In Life?

That's the question that we should ask when we are in a crisis-like situation. Or in a situation where there are multiple problems and you cannot figure out where exactly you should start.

At any given point of time in our life, we face multiple problems. (Un)luckily, our life is not so simple to give us one problem at a time and give the solution to it. When problems come in, they come in hordes. And we have to deal with each one of them. There's no escaping.

Escaping is really what we ought never to do. Not looking at the problem at all, ignoring it and willing it to be resolved by itself is something that is never going to happen. Remember that unless you take efforts, your problem is not going to solve.

When you know there are issues among people, and if you keep on ignoring them, thinking that if you ignore them, the issues will cease to exist, you are totally mistaken. Not only will those problems never be solved, but they will aggravate. And you alone will be responsible for that.

Agreed that most issues, problems, hurdles are not so simple! Life never has been. But you have to deal with them. At times, you just need to accept the facts. Facts that are as difficult to digest, that are sometimes painful, and not the ideal situation that you had hoped for. That's when you need to understand that things cannot change. Too much water has gone under the bridge and things haven't been as you had expected them. And how much ever you try, situations are not going to smoothen out.

That's the cue for you to sit back and think. Take some time out to introspect. Think what is of the most importance to you at that moment? What will make the situation better? What solution can you find that's going to make things work out? Or at least marginally better? Would you need to compromise on some things? If you would need to, are they worth it?

In all this, make sure of finding out that one goal towards which you are working at that moment in your life. It could be as simple as changing your job for better opportunities, finding a new place to live, getting married, moving to a different city, and so on. Think whether the situation that has arisen is hampering you from achieving your goal. If it is, you must take the necessary steps.

Remember, do not back out from doing the right thing. It needs great courage to do the right thing. Not just for everybody, but most importantly for your own self. Never refrain from doing the right thing because of fear!

Face it up front, fight it out. You might as well go down fighting, than be down and out for ever! And never give up too!

Changing Times

Times are changing, things are changing, people are changing.

One of my closest friend recently got married and has moved to a different city. I didn't realise the big change it would be. Not just for her, but also for me. She was always there for us all. Now she has started her new life and I am surely happy for her. But that is what it is...circumstances are changing.

What was taken for granted earlier isn't there anymore. You have to adapt to it and change yourself too.

My parents moved to a new house. That's a big change indeed. They are still trying to settle in. The house is beautiful, comfortable, and very conveniently located. It also has car parking (which really is a boon.) Surprisingly, we all have adjusted to the new house quite quickly. Fortunately it's in the same locality so not much change with regards to the maids, newspaper boy, or doodhwala. Nevertheless, it's a change. It's a good change.

At work, a release is just over and we are moving towards a November release. But before we start working on that, we are doing new things with new additional team members, and with new technology. I am responsible for an entire new project along with existing tasks. Exciting times ahead.

Changing times indeed!

Back After A Long Time

After an unusually tricky release, I have now relaxed and got into a comfortable routine. My routine now consists of getting out of office sometimes as early as 4.30 p.m. and on most days no later than 6.30 p.m.

Work is manageable and hopefully this is how it will continue for quite some time.

The only problem now is getting into the groove and starting new things. In office, I still haven't got the thrust or push to start working on new items (and there are plenty of them.) However, out of office, I am doing new things, starting with long-pending activities, and hopefully turning a new leaf soon.

Another thing I will try to do is write more frequently here. :)

(Boring) Long Weekend Coming Up

We have a holiday on Friday, a long weekend is coming up. It's been quite a long time since we've had a long weekend.

I had proposed if we should go for a short trip. But as usual, Sanjeev has flatly denied. He has some presentation to be given in the next week and he wants to prepare for that.

That means entire three days will be gone, sitting at home, doing nothing. I don't believe he is going to work every hour in those three days. But he just doesn't want to take the efforts of managing things properly.

And because I'll be at home all three days, I am going to get totally irritated and angry. I am not going to like it at all. I am damn sure that he won't even be ready to step out of the house for a movie or an outing. He'll just loiter around, spend time the way he wants it, and spoil my long weekend.

I know I am going to be totally bored and irritated by the time Monday comes. Once Monday's here, it will be back to work. No respite, despite having a long weekend.

Tired of these repetitive happenings!

Just One Incident

It takes just one incident to know what you want to do ahead, how you want to deal with things, what path you want to take ahead. It all boils down to that one single moment of truth when realisation dawns on you. One single moment in which things fall apart. One single moment when things start making sense. One single moment that helps you take a decision.

Nothing more, nothing less. One incident can shape your life.

Time Is Flying

Another year gone by. Another year old am I. Another 364 days to wait for that one day! It sounds childish. But it is fun to have birthdays, especially when people remember them and make them special for you. But time flies. One day you find yourself an year younger, while just an angle change of the clock hand, and you suddenly find yourself an year older, on the other side of the twenties, thirties, forties, and so on. You realise that you've suddenly become old!

Time does fly!

Another Diwali will be gone and another year will be gone. Some things will change, some will stay the same. Lots of people will change and still others will be the same for you! New people will come in your life and the old ones will fade away.

In all this, life will move on. There's no stopping. You'll make mistakes, you'll be rewarded. You'll be idle, you'll be busy! You'll be happy, you'll be sad. You'll be lonely, you'll be among company. In all this, time will not stop!

Keep moving!

ती. बाबांस आणि सौ. आईस,

ती. बाबांस आणि सौ. आईस,

शि. न. वि. वि. पत्र लिहिण्यास कारण खरं काहीच नाही. सहज मनात आलं, की तुम्हा दोघांशी पत्रातून बोलावं. म्हणून हा प्रयत्न. खरं तर मी तुम्हा दोघांना खूप जास्त miss करते. बऱ्याच वेळेस असं वाटतं की तडक तुम्हाला येऊन भेटावा. पण वेळे अभावी नाही जमत.

आज लग्न होवून दोन वर्ष होत आली. मी रुळले आहे नवीन घरी, नवीन ठिकाणी. तरीही तुमची आठवण पदोपदी आल्यावाचून राहत नाही. आज आई-बाबा काय करत असतील? आई निघाली असेल का कामाला ? बाबांचे क्लास्सेस कसे चालू असतील? असे कायम विचार येतात.

तसे आता "रुटीन" चालू झाला आहे. खर तर, काही महिन्यांपूर्वी असे व्हायचे की खूपच आठवण येते आहे तुमची. पण आता, जसे प्रत्येक जण सवय करतो, तशी मला पण झाली आहे सवय तुमच्या शिवाय राहायची. तुम्हा दोघांना पण झाली असेल कदाचित. तुम्ही "मुलगी सुखात आहे" यातच तुमचा सुख मानता. पण म्हणून मला तुमची आठवण येत नाही असे नाही.

घरात स्वतः काही गोष्टी करताना विचार येतो, की मी कशी होते लग्नाआधी. मग विचार येतो की आई-बाबांबरोबर कसे करायचे मी ह्या गोष्टी. मग थोडा लग्नाआधी करायचे ते, आणि मला जे बरोबर वाटते, अथवा करता येते, जसे करता येते तसे, असे दोन्ही एकत्र करून एक वेगळ्या प्रकारे केला जाते. त्यात पण गम्मत आहे.

आधी सगळेच नवीन आणि वेगळे वाटायचे. पण आता माझा स्वतःचे वेगळे आयुष्य चालू आहे. काही गोष्टी ज्या मी आधी कधीच करायचे नाही त्या करते. आधी ज्या करायचे, त्या आता बिलकुलच करत नाही. खूपच वेगळे आहे, तरीदेखील सारखेच आहे. प्रत्येक लग्न झालेल्या मुलीला असेच काहीसे अनुभव येत असणार.

मला फक्त कधी-कधी असे वाटते की मी मुलगी असल्याने तुमच्या जवळ नाही राहू शकत. त्याही पेक्षा, मुलगी म्हणून स्वतःच्या आई-बाबांची जबाबदारी कमी, आणि सासू-सासर्यांची जास्त, हे बऱ्याच वेळेस ऐकते, त्याचे वाईट वाटते. तुम्ही देखील किती तरी वेळेस म्हणाले आहात...की आता त्या घरचे आधी सांभाळायचे. त्याचे थोडे वाईट वाटते. मग जास्त आठवण होते. असा आपल्या समाजात का विचार केला जातो, हेच कळत नाही. आणि आवडत त्याहून नाही.

मला कायम वाटत राहते, की शेवटी मुलीच्या आई-बाबांचे हात रिक्तच राहतात का?

असो! एव्हडेच सांगायचे होते की मी मजेत आहे. काळजी करू नये. पण तुम्ही दोघे नक्की स्वतःची काळजी घ्या.

तुमचीच,

प्राजक्ता

Moving On

It's as difficult or as easy as you make it. Depends on how much you really want to move on. Be it in a job, be it on a personal front.

In a job, there could be several reasons for your moving out. One of the major reasons is that your lead or manager have been incapable of giving you the due and appreciating your hard work. When that happens, moving on is easier. Perhaps, it's difficult to leave behind your colleagues who have been very supportive throughout your tenure in that job. But after all, if you have no growth, you will find it easier to step out.

If money is the reason, then nothing easier than getting out. You are really not bothered about your friends or colleagues. Because, you can be in touch with them even after you are out of the company.

If it is because of some personal reason, it is kind of easier to get out. You know you have to take that step because there is no other option. Of course you'll miss your work there, the environment, friends, colleagues, atmosphere...everything. But all said and done, you have to move on. And that makes it easier to release all things bound to you for so long in that workplace.

But on a personal front...

Reasons are numerous, probably resolutions too. But if you are planning to move on from one phase to the other, there are so many things that you keep thinking about. Self-doubt, uncertainty, unknown future, sadness at leaving behind things, hope of a better future, indecision of what to leave behind and what to take, belief in self...all feelings, emotions are in a turmoil. The road is strewn with questions that seemingly don't have any answer.

There are people to support you, all family members, friends. But when you walk along that path, you are alone.

One question keeps coming to your mind constantly...is it all worth it?

Desperately Needing A Break

Working harder than ever for the release on December 15...Getting tired of closed environments...Sick of unhealthy surroundings...Frustrated at the inertia...Wishing to create my own space...Bugged up with unasked for scenes...Desperately needing a break!

At times, life really sucks!

Hardships

A few incidents I came across that showed the hardships faced by people around us and how they survive. In fact, it's these hardships that make us stronger. We learn so much and grow so much.

The first one was a month back when we visited a restaurant. The boy who took our order could speak English. But you could tell that he had just learnt it. But I liked his confidence. He was speaking grammatically correct English. The best part was that he was not throwing any accent, nor was he stammering while talking. I can imagine what efforts he must have taken to learn English and communicate in proper English. It was his determination that helped him overcome his shortcomings. I liked his attitude and salute his will to succeed despite hardships.

The next incident that I vividly remember is of two boys carrying a cooking gas cylinder on a bicycle. That scene is representative of so many things: it shows how the middle class survives, how children are willingly (or perhaps, unwillingly) ready to help and do household chores for a better life, how children have to manage these chores with parents busy earning the daily bread, how ably children can handle these tasks. Moreover, it's a lesson in life for those two boys. Those two boys are already learning to be independent, and understanding, that life is after all sharing and helping. After growing up, I am sure they will reminisce how they used to get the cooking gas cylinder home on a bicycle, and will narrate this incidence to their kids, who will be in awe of the extraordinary life their parents led as kids.

Two other incidences are of two ladies who are on the brink of changes in life. The similarities are uncanny. Both are looking for a better job, both are trying to pursue higher education, and both are new candidates for matrimony. As I hear each one's experience, I realise that both are going through similar experiences, frustrations, heartaches, disappointments, and rekindled hopes. These are hardships that most girls go through. And each one learns numerous lessons. Each one grows up and matures through these trying times and emerges a better person.

The worst and probably the best part about hardships is that no one, absolutely no one can bypass this journey. If you feel that you did not have to face certain kinds of hardships, think before you feel or decide that way. Because just as you are taking the next turn in your Life, the Hardships Family has already boarded your Life train. And unless you drop the Family at the next stop, you can't shake them off. You must bear with them and emerge winners.

That's what life is about...hardships cultivate winners.

Pre- And Post-20.12.2010

Just like six months back. Feels like I am in a different world now. In fact, it seems the world is divided into two parts. Pre-20.12.2010 and Post-20.12.2010.

I have come over to stay for a few days at my parents's home which included a weekend too. It was absolutely just like the frenzy that was going on before 20.12.2010. Weekend shopping sprees, evening meetings with SP after office, and then coming home, spending time at home, doing all kinds of tasks like cleaning up every nook and corner, completing pending bank work, getting things ready for moving out, filling up bags...the list is endless.

And in the morning on weekdays, just like old times...get up, go for a walk or a bicycle ride, come back all sweaty, plunge into the bath, have a quick breakfast, fill mom's and my tiffins, and then go off to office for the day's work. Just like pre-20.12.2010. It's strange how a few days bring in a complete different perspective to life.

Seemingly, nothing has changed here at my parents' place. Baba gets up at the same time for the milkman. He does his share of chores. Aai gets up and does the cooking, cleaning. Baba goes on doing rest of the tasks and then steps out of the house to complete other outdoor tasks. He will manage to teach a student or two in the meanwhile. Aai will step out to go to office and be back in the evening. The routine is not changed.

But there is a big change. I am not there now. They have learnt to live without me. They have accepted that I won't be there with them forever. And I am crying as I write this...not because I am not included in their lives, but because I cannot be there to support them as they live alone without their children. It's sad that they made me and my sister all independent and capable to lead our own lives so that ultimately we lived happily and they alone.

And come Saturday and I will go back to my post-20.12.2010 life. Leaving back the pre-20.12.2010 life again, but taking with me all memories of the time I spent with Aai-Baba and at Shaniwar Peth. I will miss them.

Falling Leaves

Have you seen them? Lazily falling to the ground, swinging gaily in the wind, and falling with a hush.

I love the seasons that have these falling leaves: autumn and just before spring. In autumn, there is a beautiful tinge to the air, anticipating the winter months. It reminds me of cold, foggy mornings, with the feeble winter sun striving to peep through the still-remaining leaves, trying to warm you up. Somehow it also reminds me of me cycling early in the morning, sweating all over, and feeling the wonderful biting wind on my cheeks.

Before spring, the falling leaves bring with them a hope of the upcoming spring and summer. But it also brings the warning that it's going to be hotter by the day. When I see these leaves falling, I always wonder the change in the temperatures that we always experience. It's pretty amazing that one day in an year we have a temperature of 6 degrees Celsius, while another day in an year after a gap of six months, we have a temperature of 40 degrees Celsius. What a difference!

These falling leaves really leave me nostalgic. They remind me of होळी, गुळपोळ्या, शेकोटी, mangoes, hot coffee, and carom competitions at home when we were kids during summer holidays. And then they make me remind of the amazing power of nature!

What beauty is to be found even in these dying leaves! Can we ever surpass nature in terms of beauty? I think not!

Old Books, Past Times, and Great Friends

I got three big piles of my old study books at my new home and it was time to go down the memory lane. All those old University days came back to my mind with extraordinary ease and quickness.

I remembered how we used to appear for exams, prepare for the exams, read plays together, attend lectures, discuss essays, poems, plays, novels, apply different literary theories to the works of literature that we studied, search through books in the library for some particular essay, get the books photocopied...aaah! What days!

And in all this, two friends were there all the time. They were there as we had fun, studied, and enjoyed being students. Thanks S and R for being there. Remembered our time together when we studied Shakespeare and Satyajit Ray! Cheers to our friendship!

> 20

How does Time manage to flee so soon? So many days have already gone past the D-Day.

Now routine starts. But there's still the anticipation of new happenings, looking forward to beautiful days, getting used to a different life, adjusting to a new environment, new people, new lifestyle. I still think of the past still-cherished lifestyle, of the people left behind, of the times wrapped up in a small, faintly-scented muslin cloth. The memories come back suddenly when least expected and you are lost in the thoughts of those bygone days.

Life is strange. It always moves on!

< 20

OMG!

Excitement, nervousness, what's-happening-to-me-ness, where-did-those-days-go-by-ness, how-is-all-going-to-work-out-ness, why-is-not-the-whole-world-happy-like-me feeling, do-i-deserve-so-much-of-happiness feeling, and finally, I-think-I-have-gone-crazy-as-in-"gandliye" feeling.

Nice Photo

I loved this photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:British_Columbia_Regiment_1940.jpg

It's so poignant. I loved the depth it showed...the long line of soldiers on the road...the mother and the son...the son leaving his mother's hand and running to hold his father's hand...all other soldiers looking serious and determined...the father alone looking back at his son...beautiful.

Look how the road is divided by the long line of soldiers. On one side, only two-three ladies, on the other all other ladies bidding farewell to the soldiers...looking at a grim future. The black-and-white photograph shows one whole generation of people men towards the unknown.

What a classic photograph!

Walls

Have you ever been to a jewellery shop at its closing time? The usually-adorned walls are stripped off their shine and lusture, literally. All jewellery on-show is removed from the showcases and put away for the night. It's actually a sad sight. The glitter and shine of the whole day, the gold, silver, pearls all on display vanish in the cupboard for the night. If you are used to those shiny walls and gleaming showcases, it's kind of a shock to see those bare walls. That's when you realise that at night, those jewellery shops are so different. Not to mention the work the salesmen and saleswomen have to do to store the jewellery in safes and then displaying them again the next day.

Still these shops get back their sparkle every day in the morning. But that isn't the case with a house that you have just moved away from. When you book a new house, you are in anticipation of getting the new house and moving into your new surroundings. As the day approaches, you move your furniture, bags, clothes, utensils. Brick by brick you strip off the house of its things and amenities and the house starts becoming empty. On the final day when you are leaving, if you glance back, you see the desolate walls, the empty space in the rooms, all witness of the time you spent in that house, the things you kept there, the cupboard in the corner, the table near the window, the spot on the wall where you had hit yourself when you were young. All those memories of those wonderful times come back. And then comes back that feeling of emptiness, the feeling you get when you leave back a person after a long association. It's like you are leaving a part of you behind as you move. It's the place that has sheltered you, the place where you were at home with friends and families, and shared many a laughs and tears. The shine is all gone. What is left are bleak, lack-lusture walls!

What all stories those jewellery shop walls and our old house walls would tell!

कोट, टोपी, आणि धोतर घातलेले आजोबा

काल मी सकाळी साधारण साडे आठ वाजता झेड पुलावरून जात होते. तेव्हा बघितलं अश्या एका आजोबाना. स्वच्छ, पांढरे धोतर, छानसा फिकट पिवळा कोट, आणि डोक्यावर काळी टोपी. पुलावरून खाली पाण्यात बघत होते. इतके छान होते ते.
असले आजोबा आता दुर्मिळच.

खरंच, आजचे आजोबा सगळे hi-tech झाले आहेत. धोतर-टोपी तर सोडाच, साधा सदरा घातलेले आजोबा पण दिसत नाहीत. हल्लीचे आजोबा directly T-Shirt, Jeans, कॅप, आणि काय-काय नवीन fashionable कपडे घालतात.

तसं बघायला गेला तर आजकालच्या आज्ज्या तरी कुठे नऊवारी साड्या घालतात? त्या देखील पंजाबी ड्रेस घालतात, काही आज्ज्या तर अगदी Jeans, T-Shirt देखील घालतात. हा आहे आजच्या एकविसाव्या शतकातील "change."

म्हणजे हा बदल चांगला नाही असा मी नाही म्हणत. पण असले आजोबा किंवा नऊवारी घातलेल्या आज्ज्या दिसल्या की एकदम भूतकाळात जातो आपण आपसूक. आपले स्वतःचे आजी-आजोबा आठवतात. आणि मग त्यांनी आपले केलेले सगळे लाड पण.

आज्जी बरोबर दुपारची कामं केलेली आठवतात. दुपारची कामं म्हणजे सांडगे करणे, पापड करणे, कसले-कसले मसाले करणे. काय-काय असायचं. आणि दुपारी कपडे धुणाऱ्या बाई आल्या की आज्जीची साडी वाळत घालायच्या. तेव्हा आणि अजूनही असं वाटतं की केवढी मोठ्ठी ती आज्जीची साडी! हाल्ली साधी पाचवारी साडी घालायला पण कंटाळा येतो.

आजोबा आमच्या करता संध्याकाळी काय-काय आणायचे: गोळ्या, कणसं, बोरं, गरम-गरम खरी, चण्या-मन्या बोरं...फार मज्जा यायची.

आज्जीने एक मोडक्या घड्याळ घेऊन आम्हाला घड्याळ बघायला शिकवल होता. पण आता परत कशी आणू शकू आपण ती वेळ???