Like Mother Like Daughter

The other day, I was at home having lunch. As I finished my lunch, being in a super relaxed mood, I started talking gibberish. And then I grinned! A big, happy, proud grin!

The reason for that grin is that my daughter, Mahika, does exactly this the whole day. She just keeps talking gibberish the whole day, sing stupid songs, make up songs randomly and impromptu, and sing them in a sing-song voice, with her own music!!

It drives me crazy at times to listen to her songs! It mostly is the words that are just being spoken. So  you might be saying, "Mahika, please pick up your clothes!" Immediately, you'll hear from her: "Pick up your clothes, shadoo-do-do-do-do! Aaya-Munni tells to pick up the clothes shadoo-do-do-do-do!"

Or may be:

Pick up the clothes
Fothes, Toathes, Glothes, Mothes, Shothes!

Duh!!!

But then, I shouldn't really be complaining! You see, my mom says that I was just like that! Ohh...I mean, she is just like me! I used to do all these weird sounds, and be constantly talking all the time. Apparently, my daughter has inherited the wrong genes from me!

But then, to own it, I feel good, even proud! And I get a glimpse of what my parents must have gone through (ohh the boredom of hearing those stupid words and senseless songs!)

It is looking at my own five and a half year old self! 

Crappy Day With A Wet End

Started my day today with a fight. Went to office in a rage. Got late. Was stuck in traffic. Got late. Attended a stupid presentation. Did some work. Was irritated the whole day for unnecessary reasons. Got irritated with a colleague and did not even apologise. Started back from work. Found car was not working. Took rickshaw. Reached destination. Heavy downpour had started. Travelled back to office in the rains. Car still not working. Waited at office for some time for rains to stop. They didn't (of course!) Took a rickshaw till the bus stop. No bus was stopping at the right place. Had to walk to get a bus. Finally got the bus. Got down and walked back home.

End result: Dead tired and feeling all the more crappy!

That's life!

Things Won't Change

How much ever I try, how much ever I myself change, things won't change.

People won't change. They'll expect the same things over and over from me. They'll expect that I do whatever they feel is correct. Yet, they won't see my point of view. Moreover, in spite of me doing things that are supposed to be done, I am blamed for not doing them. Forgive the ambiguity, but I cannot be clearer than this in this post.

When it's time to work, time for efforts, I am remembered. But when it is time for fun, for exchanging information, I am conveniently forgotten. I am accused of not interacting well with others. I am accused of not consulting others when taking decisions! Ohh thank you very much! It's as if I do not have an existence of my own and that I should be asking permissions forever about each and every small thing. Am I a kid?

I am never consulted when things are decided directly! Then why now? Ohhh...of course! I don't do my duty towards them. When you expect me to do something, do you realise that I do not get the opportunity to do that? I won't be able to do anything if people don't want me to. What's the point in blaming me then?

Self-centered, hypocrites all are. Double-standard folks. They'll behave in one way when it's convenient, and another way when that's convenient. Then of course, blame me for every thing wrong in the world.

It's so easy to just dishonour me before everyone. Really good for their image. It helps to show how good they are, and how useless and inconsiderate I am.

I am really tired of exerting myself to make things better. Things will never be better because others will never take the efforts, nor will they appreciate my efforts.

What's the solution to this? Nothing that I have found. Just keep on saying Fine! Life is absolutely fine!!!

Saturday Is Here...

...and I am downright sad. I am no longer looking forward to it. I really wish I had an Invisibility Cloak, or perhaps a spell to befuddle people. I am tired of obligations!

Pre- And Post-20.12.2010

Just like six months back. Feels like I am in a different world now. In fact, it seems the world is divided into two parts. Pre-20.12.2010 and Post-20.12.2010.

I have come over to stay for a few days at my parents's home which included a weekend too. It was absolutely just like the frenzy that was going on before 20.12.2010. Weekend shopping sprees, evening meetings with SP after office, and then coming home, spending time at home, doing all kinds of tasks like cleaning up every nook and corner, completing pending bank work, getting things ready for moving out, filling up bags...the list is endless.

And in the morning on weekdays, just like old times...get up, go for a walk or a bicycle ride, come back all sweaty, plunge into the bath, have a quick breakfast, fill mom's and my tiffins, and then go off to office for the day's work. Just like pre-20.12.2010. It's strange how a few days bring in a complete different perspective to life.

Seemingly, nothing has changed here at my parents' place. Baba gets up at the same time for the milkman. He does his share of chores. Aai gets up and does the cooking, cleaning. Baba goes on doing rest of the tasks and then steps out of the house to complete other outdoor tasks. He will manage to teach a student or two in the meanwhile. Aai will step out to go to office and be back in the evening. The routine is not changed.

But there is a big change. I am not there now. They have learnt to live without me. They have accepted that I won't be there with them forever. And I am crying as I write this...not because I am not included in their lives, but because I cannot be there to support them as they live alone without their children. It's sad that they made me and my sister all independent and capable to lead our own lives so that ultimately we lived happily and they alone.

And come Saturday and I will go back to my post-20.12.2010 life. Leaving back the pre-20.12.2010 life again, but taking with me all memories of the time I spent with Aai-Baba and at Shaniwar Peth. I will miss them.

Ennui

It happens once a while. Extreme boredom. Nothing helps. Rather, nothing you do seems to drive away your boredom. Visiting friends does not help. Visiting relatives is doubly taxing. Routine tasks and jobs are tedious and shackling.

It's an overall feeling of dullness and low esteem. And obviously, the reason is unknown.

I am trying to think of some remedies: shopping, movies, pizza party, (re)newed exercise regime, two-days trip, or best, going underground. Let me see if any (or all) might work.

Disadvantages Of A House In Town

...are many. The worst is, you'll have enough guests to last for a lifetime.

If your house is located in the heart of a city, I empathise with you. I know the pain. In spite of finding every other place in the city close to your place, you would still wish that your place was in the middle of a nice lake full of sharks or crocodiles who wouldn't allow anyone else to pass through the lake.

Why can't people just stay put at their own place? Why do they have to visit us every month, with every spell being of fifteen days. Why can't they mind their own business and not bother us?

With guests almost every weekend, I really wish I was staying away from where I stay right now. And I wish people would stop considering our place as a come-and-go-whenever-you-want abode.

We need peace. We need privacy. We want to be left alone! Wishful thinking, I know!

The Unknown

Fear of the unknown...that's what we fear the most!

And it starts from very small things. It starts right from our first day in school or college, we know nothing what to expect and that's why we are terrified. We are nervous on our first day on our first job, every job for that matter.

We are afraid of meeting new people because we don't know what will happen when we do. We are frightened to try out new things because they are unknown to us.

And we are afraid of every new phase of our life because we are just clueless of what lies ahead of us.

Life is full of unknown things! That's really spooky, you know!

Something's Wrong With My Face

"I have seen you somewhere." That's what a lot of people say when they meet me or see me for the first time. I wonder how can everyone feel that they have seen me before.

I have heard people say that there are at least 7 people in this whole world who look similar. I have a doubt that all the other six are here in Pune. That's a very dangerous condition. I think, I now know what Lord Voldemort felt when he knew that there were 6 more of himself hidden somewhere. But at least he knew where they all were. I don't know where my other duplicates are. That's spooky!

Let me get my hands on at least one of the other 6! Then see what all I do! I'll maker her attend ever family function for me. I'll make her drive me everywhere. I'll make her work for me and I'll go on a long vacation. Then she'll know what it is to be me.

One other thing that I always hear when my family folks meet me is that I look like my Aunt, my father's sister. If not her, then I am generally told that I look like one of her daughters, my cousin Shilpa or Sapna. My family also tells me that I talk like my cousins, my style is just like the other Pradhans.

Could someone please say that I look exactly like myself and that I talk just like myself?

Hukum Mere Aka!

I really, really wish I had a Genie who would say this every time I wanted something! Seriously!

I am now even fed up of being fed up and disgruntled when things don't just happen as per my wish. I am now tired of expecting something as per my wish everyday. I am exhausted of wishing to have carefree and guest-free weekends. I have lost hope of not having folks around who are not selfish and who care for their happiness alone. I am done with waiting forever for things to happen. I have had enough of entertaining people just because it's my "duty." I am sick of having my life ordained for me where I have no say at all.

Basically, at the moment, I am just sick to death of everything and everyone. Don't tell I didn't warn you! I won't be responsible if I misbehave with anyone.

I-Want-To-Stay-Away-From-All-Relatives Fever

These days, I am suffering from this terrible fever. It's going on for the past one month. And I know it's going to stay for another couple of months at least.

It's acute symptoms are listlessness, getting bored when with relatives, finding reasons to avoid meeting relatives, staying out of home when relatives are expected home, staying back in office even when you have no work just to avoid relatives.

This fever is unfortunately not contagious. How much ever you wish that your relatives would catch this disease, they never do so. In fact, it has a curious reaction on your relatives. When you are suffering from this fever acutely, that's the exact time when they suffer from "We-Are-Coming-To-Stay-At-Your-Place" illness or the "You-Have-Not-Visited-Us-In-A-Long-Time" sickness, or even the "Why-Don't-You-Drop-By-Today-At-Our-Place?" malady.

Mind you, these are bound to increase your fever and I suggest you take precautions to avoid suffering the effects of these different diseases when you are already suffering from the fever.

Some options you can consider to ward off kinsmen are:

• Going underground and untraceable for quite some time.
• Spreading the word that you are suffering from swine flu.
• Showing off that you are so busy in office that you don't have time even for yourself.
• Going off on vacation and never informing when you are returning or when you have returned.

Note: Please let me know if you have tested and tried any other options with success.

The Rapid Questions Round

It is a truth universally accepted in the Indian society that a single girl, who is working, and is from a well-to-do family must be in want of a husband. Then that would-be husband and his family have all rights to ask whatever uncensored questions they want, in front of everyone. Questions could be as follows:

• What are your hobbies?
• Can you cook?
• Do you like non-vegetarian food?
• Do you like to listen to music?
• Would you mind if you have to move out of your city? (Nobody bothers to ask what she would do about her job then.)
• Do you wear saris? Do you like wearing saris? Do you have a collection of saris?

Did I tell you that these are standard questions? A recently introduced question, that will make your heads turn is:

Have you put on weight recently?

And they might sometimes forget to ask these questions:

• Can you walk?
• Can you talk?
• Are you human?

But don't worry. Every girl eventually gets used to being asked all these questions. She also learns to answer them tactfully. Of course, when they are asked for the first time, the girl will be angry, flustered, irritated, and not to say flabbergasted. She will then learn that the greatest "virtues" of being a girl are patience and self-control. She will learn that she has to control herself so that she does not walk out on the folks who ask these questions, or worse, slap them hard.

This experience is very necessary to learn the role of being a good "wife." Unless she passes in this test, she is not accepted as "marriage" stuff.

So gals out there thinking of getting married soon, remember, be patient and practise self-control. Because those virtues are your ticket to wifeydom, nothing short of martyrdom.

Lights Off

For 10 whole hours! The reason: Unknown! How do you survive in the heat? Just exist!!

This is really ridiculous! Can you even imagine how difficult it is stay without a fan for hours together in this sweltering heat? This has happened twice now.

This is the scene in our city. Imagine the state of rural India where there are no lights for almost 12-14 hours a day every day!

"Sarkar cha doka thikanyavar ahe ka?"

Rains Rains Come Again!

First rains of the season!!! Wonderful!!! Awesome! Always an out-of-this-world experience!

I simply love rains!

What Went Wrong?

How often do you ask that question to yourself? Once in a lifetime? Several times? Often? Always?

And what do you do when you do not get the answer? Just let it be? Just forget about it? Just believe that you are untouched, unalloyed, completely happy, and ready to take on the world again?

You tend to console yourself that what happened, or is happening is for the best. You feel exhilarated for half an hour; get back your self-confidence, your self-worth for one glorious half-hour. After forgetting about all that happened, at a sudden, unguarded moment you suddenly find yourself asking...

What went wrong?

Foul February

I hate February! Really! Since past few years, I have consistently had the worst days of the year in February. All bad things happen in February. Deaths, illnesses, losses, heartbreaks, unhappy relations, sly, selfish relationships, all, all happen in February.

I want this month to get over soon, really soon!

Till then I pray nothing worse happens any more! Hoping that the rest of the year is better!

Wishful thinking...!

"Sirius"ly Yours

This wonderful friend finally succumbed to the inevitable.

He had wandered into Wadia Stud Farm as a small pup where he was adopted unconditionally.

He lived life giving love to everyone. He was especially attached my mother who works there. He waited for her on guard when she worked overtime and accompanied her till the gate. He was truly noble.


All at Wadia Stud Farm will truly miss you, Sirius!

Balancing Acts

When you are good with everyone, you are always in a problem. It's always like being between the devil and the deep sea. The issue is, each person, especially those that are always on the opposite side of each other try to pull you to their side.

It is especially irritating to find yourself in such a situation and try hard to not take sides. I always find myself in such a spot. Of course, if I am in trouble, I stand up for myself. I mean, if any of the two parties tries to use me against the other, I won't tolerate it.

I just hope that I am able to stay neutral.

Making Myself Useful

One of my friends has got a job in Chennai and is moving over to Chennai on Saturday. She has studied and worked hard to get this job and I am immensely happy for her. Her mother has taken tremendous efforts after her father passed away to make ends meet and to educate her children. My friend has done MBA even in such circumstances and for her, it is a completely new experience to go away from her family.

I am proud that I have such a brave and worthy friend. And I am glad that I was of help to her to pack her things. She was at a complete loss of how to pack her bags and what things to take along and how to take them. I sat with her for a couple of hours, sorted out things for her, and packed her bags for her.

In doing all this, I was tremendously happy that I was useful to someone. I was useful in making someone happier and relaxed. It is very heartening to see that I can be of use to someone. And, this I write not because I am vain, but to remind me once again that had I not been there, someone else would have been there. She would have received help in some or the other way. I was just the means, the "jariya", the "nimitti."

Never forget that you are a small cog in a giant wheel. Even if you don't do your work, the wheel won't stop turning.

What's New?

Another year starts, and life still goes on. I mean, with the new year, except that the date changes, what's different? It's the same old life for us workers, go to office and return in the evening day after day. For students, the year continues...nothing apparently changes except the syllabus.

A new financial year starts and yet each one stays at the same level that one was before. If you get an appraisal and bonus, then you spend more because you have got more. Eventually you end up having the same amount as your bank balance.

Writers keep writing new things like they have done every year. Actors keep on acting as they have done in each of their past movies. Players play and excel like they do in every game. Soldiers do their duties and wait for their next vacation as they do every year.

People are born and people die. Natural calamities occur and leave some scars. Man-made dire circumstances occur leaving behind a whirlwind of emotions. Ultimately everything settles down as dust settles down after a storm to welcome another year that will go past as the year before that.

Just one small change occurs...you add another year to your age and that's what makes a difference.