आवाज कोणाचा???

महानगर पालिका निवडणुका तोंडावर आल्यात. वातावरण सगळीकडेच चांगलेच तापले आहे.

कुठला पक्ष जिंकणार ह्याकडे सगळ्यांचे लक्ष आहेच. पण तत्पूर्वी, निवडणुकांची धामधूम बघायला मज्जा येत आहे. रस्त्यारस्त्यावर रिक्षा, bikes, बसेस, आणि मोर्चे ह्यातून प्रचार होत आहे.

प्रत्येक उमदेवार हा "गरिबांचे दुःख जाणणारा, त्यांच्या समस्या सोडवणारा, हळवा, कर्तव्यदक्ष, सुशिक्षित, आणि शब्द पाळणारा" आहे. प्रत्येक उमेदवाराने भरपूर (खाबू) कार्ये केली आहेत, म्हणूनच तो/ती जनतेची आवडती आहे. (म्हणून तर प्रत्येकाची कित्येक कोटी मालमत्ता आहे.) निवडून आलो तर काय काय करून जनतेचा सेवक म्हणून कार्यक्षम राहू हे प्रत्येक जण पटवून देत आहे.

ह्या निवडूणुकीत प्रचार केवळ सभा, भाषणे ह्या पुरता मर्यादित नाही राहिलेला. मतदारांना स्वतः जाऊन भेटणे, इथंपासून, मतदारांच्या भ्रमणध्वनीवर फोन/sms इथपर्यंत सर्व युक्त्या वापरायला जात आहेत.

एकमेकांच्या पक्षांना नावं ठेवणे, कुरघोड्या करणे, कार्यकर्त्यांमध्ये वाद घडवून आणणे येथपासून 'आमुक आमुक शहर देशोधडीला लावण्याचे काम" विरोधी पक्ष करत आहे इथपर्यंत वाद-प्रतिवाद चालू आहेत. खरं किती, खोटं  किती हे जाणकार मतदार जाणतातच. तथापि सर्व उमेदवारांची हि बाचाबाची बघायला, ऐकायला गम्मत वाटते.

ह्या निवडणुकीत मला जाणवलेली गोष्टं अशी कि अपक्ष उमेदवार बरेच आहेत. त्या सगळ्यांची चिन्हे फारच गमतीशीर. नारळ, शिट्टी, कप-बशी, क्रिकेट खेळणारा खेळाडू, मेणबत्त्या, टेबल, खुर्ची, गॅस सिलेंडर, कॅमेरा, कंगवा,फुगा ह्यासारखी अनेक चिन्हे!!!! साधारण हजाराच्यावर उमेदवार रिंगणात आहेत. बहुदा अपक्षांची संख्या जास्त असावी.

ह्या रणधुमाळीत, कोणी जिंकेल, कोणी  हरेल! कोणाचे नशीब फळफळेल, कोणी अगदी हिरमुसून जाईल!! आवाज कोणाचा येईल??? मतदारांचा की खणखणाऱ्या नाण्यांचा???

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

In a budding relationship, with all the trust, love, and faith you have in the other person, it is necessary to let bygones be bygones.

Whether you are in office, with acquaintances, with your family and loved ones, you cannot build on hostile feelings. You need to sit back one day and try and understand what is really holding you up.

When in office, you may come across some of your colleagues with whom you are not comfortable. Yet you need to work along with them. Sometimes, it is much easy to ignore the little quirks that may irritate you as long as the work is done. You can easily do that, because after all, it's for a short time that you are together with that person.

Eventually, you get used to the person and the whims and fancies. You come to accept the person as he or she is until your work is getting done and until that person is not a real hindrance to your job, position, and progress. If someone is a hindrance, dealing with that person is an entirely different story.

But on a personal level, what do you do? When a person irritates you, gets on your nerves, and does not let you be, what can you do?

Sometimes, it's best to ignore. But, it certainly is not easy to ignore and let go. Then at times, you don't know how to deal with a person who cannot understand you, is really self-centered, doesn't give you the required space, cannot understand your point of view, is obstinate, and has entirely different goals.

That's the time when you sit down and make each other understand what the goals are. The short-term goals and the long-term ones too. It is time to sit down and clarify things, make each other understand what you like, what you don't.

Mind you, it's not easy to see through somebody else's point of view. Most of the times, the person who has felt dejected, unloved, and lonely will feel themselves to be martyrs. And for you, that person may seem to be the culprit for all the wrong things that have happened.

You wouldn't be able to forget the smaller fights, the real big fights, and the hurt that has been caused because of being headstrong, stubborn, and unhelpful.

That's when you need to keep patience. Handle each situation very, very delicately. Put forth your points, your ideas in a way that will help the other person see your perspective. The other person may not believe in your perspective, but will at least understand that, finally, that is what your feel. And the most important factor in all this is not to keep reminding oneself of all the fights and hurt in the past. For some time at least, you must keep them away. Keep them on the back burner.

You may want to pick on them again when the issues at hand are resolved. But it is extremely important that at the time when you are trying to patch up things, you let bygones be bygones. Slowly and surely, the soreness, the feeling of being hurt and unhappy fades away. A real understanding between each other develops. That's when peace will return!

What Is Important In Life?

That's the question that we should ask when we are in a crisis-like situation. Or in a situation where there are multiple problems and you cannot figure out where exactly you should start.

At any given point of time in our life, we face multiple problems. (Un)luckily, our life is not so simple to give us one problem at a time and give the solution to it. When problems come in, they come in hordes. And we have to deal with each one of them. There's no escaping.

Escaping is really what we ought never to do. Not looking at the problem at all, ignoring it and willing it to be resolved by itself is something that is never going to happen. Remember that unless you take efforts, your problem is not going to solve.

When you know there are issues among people, and if you keep on ignoring them, thinking that if you ignore them, the issues will cease to exist, you are totally mistaken. Not only will those problems never be solved, but they will aggravate. And you alone will be responsible for that.

Agreed that most issues, problems, hurdles are not so simple! Life never has been. But you have to deal with them. At times, you just need to accept the facts. Facts that are as difficult to digest, that are sometimes painful, and not the ideal situation that you had hoped for. That's when you need to understand that things cannot change. Too much water has gone under the bridge and things haven't been as you had expected them. And how much ever you try, situations are not going to smoothen out.

That's the cue for you to sit back and think. Take some time out to introspect. Think what is of the most importance to you at that moment? What will make the situation better? What solution can you find that's going to make things work out? Or at least marginally better? Would you need to compromise on some things? If you would need to, are they worth it?

In all this, make sure of finding out that one goal towards which you are working at that moment in your life. It could be as simple as changing your job for better opportunities, finding a new place to live, getting married, moving to a different city, and so on. Think whether the situation that has arisen is hampering you from achieving your goal. If it is, you must take the necessary steps.

Remember, do not back out from doing the right thing. It needs great courage to do the right thing. Not just for everybody, but most importantly for your own self. Never refrain from doing the right thing because of fear!

Face it up front, fight it out. You might as well go down fighting, than be down and out for ever! And never give up too!

Back After A Long Time

After an unusually tricky release, I have now relaxed and got into a comfortable routine. My routine now consists of getting out of office sometimes as early as 4.30 p.m. and on most days no later than 6.30 p.m.

Work is manageable and hopefully this is how it will continue for quite some time.

The only problem now is getting into the groove and starting new things. In office, I still haven't got the thrust or push to start working on new items (and there are plenty of them.) However, out of office, I am doing new things, starting with long-pending activities, and hopefully turning a new leaf soon.

Another thing I will try to do is write more frequently here. :)

Chai Time Musings

It's 5 PM and a weekday. In office, after a long-drawn meeting, you decide to take a cup of tea. Because your friends had already been earlier for tea, you are left alone. A cup tea all by yourself is always welcome. Gives you time to relax and contemplate.

And so I walked into the canteen, got a cup of tea and some snacks. I tried getting a good spot at the "balcony," but the best ones were occupied. After around 5 minutes, one of the tables became vacant and I quickly moved on to sit at the balcony.

My office canteen is an open area on the first floor overlooking a road. Across the road as I had mentioned in an earlier post, the Yerwada Jail fields are spread out. There are around four-five two seater tables arranged just at the canteen railing. These are really good for a quick chai and a quick dekko.

The road has been newly constructed. Earlier it was a dusty road, bumpy all over the place. Now it's transformed into a tar road and got a character of its own.

As I sat having my tea, I could see so many things happening around me. People in the canteen were enjoying their break from work. The food caterers were busying serving. A few people were having "chai-time meetings."

What intrigued me most was the road below. Earlier when it was a dusty road, hardly anyone walked by. But now, although not a main thoroughfare, there were a lot of people walking by, going for their work, teenagers talking loudly, gossiping, and laughing away to glory. Some bikers zoomed past on the smooth road. And I watched it all.

It felt as if I was standing still in the vast ocean of activity and life was happening and passing by. I felt as if I was the only stationary object for whom time had stopped. It was a kind of strange feeling. I suppose it's exactly how old ajobas and ajjis feel when they sit at their windows watching people walk by.

My own ajji had her house in one of the busiest places in Pune, right in the centre of the city. We all cousins used to fight for the coveted place in the small window that opened out to the main road. I remember  looking at the people working, talking, walking past, loitering, fighting, travelling. People going on with their lives and we mute spectators. It was like a bird's eye view. It was how God would look at the going-ons in this world, except that it was not at all our creation. Things just happened and we were the by-standers watching and observing. Never playing a part in it.

All ajjis and ajobas would be feeling the same I guess. They must be contemplating on how life has been for them, what future they have in store, what problems they faced, and how they overcame them. What life really was for them. Waiting and watching!

That's what perhaps I will be doing 30 more years down the line. Who knows! I will be one of those ajjis in the window up there, looking down at the fast world around me, thinking of my own life gone by. While everybody then would be in the fast lane, going at a speed of 80 km/h, I would be ruminating at my life in the slowest and farthest lane, going at a constant speed of 30 km/h.

The destination would be in my sight, but no deadline of reaching it!

Fights

Yeah, that's what you'll experience when you visit the Sinhagad Fort. That's what we experienced too.

Sinhagad is located around 30 kms west of Pune and reaching there is pretty easy. You can either take a bus from Swargate, Deccan, or Shaniwar Wada bus stands. These buses go till the foot of the fort. You need to climb up from the foot. Otherwise, and the better option if you do not want to be tired from the climbing, you should hire a car, or even better, take your own car.

The fort lies around 10-12 kms from the village that's at the foot, called Donje. You must pay a toll of Rs. 20 or 50 for a two or four wheeler respectively as you start climbing. If you have got your own food, you also need to pay a nuisance fee of Rs. 100.

The first five or so kms are smooth and enjoyable. The middle patch is excruciatingly painful. It is completely neglected and the road has been washed out. It's full of potholes and worse than a village road. the last 5 kms are again very good, and you heave a sigh of relief as you see the smooth road.

As you park your vehicle in the parking lot, lots of ladies with "dahi" and "taak" will literally follow you up till the fort. They just won't let you go. As you visit the different points, they'll keep on asking you if you'd like to have curd or buttermilk. Even if you keep saying no, they'll persist. When you finally decide to have some, there'll be a fight between a couple of them about who "caught" the customer first.

Their loud discussions are enough to distract you and make you wonder why you ever selected that lady. But don't bother, it's nothing to do with your selecting her. It's the other way round. They select the customers they want right from the parking lot, and follow you till you have to have the curd and buttermilk from them. If you don't, there will be a big fight.

Obviously, the price seems too much, especially after the fight. After this first haggling, you'll again have to face various other food providers who are trying to catch you. You'll get a simple meal of pithla-bhakri there. But even that is enough to start the whole fight all over again.

Thankfully, the food is decent wherever you have it. Remember to order the kanda-bhaji first and then pithla-bhakri. And lastly, have the dahi and enjoy the meal.

If you can ignore all the petty fights, it's a good half-a-day outing that you can enjoy. Especially when the heat is mild and there's a gentle breeze flowing all the while, making the sun all the more bearable. Despite all the troubles reaching there or the fights at the top, you'll certainly enjoy the outing.

Just One Incident

It takes just one incident to know what you want to do ahead, how you want to deal with things, what path you want to take ahead. It all boils down to that one single moment of truth when realisation dawns on you. One single moment in which things fall apart. One single moment when things start making sense. One single moment that helps you take a decision.

Nothing more, nothing less. One incident can shape your life.

Time Is Flying

Another year gone by. Another year old am I. Another 364 days to wait for that one day! It sounds childish. But it is fun to have birthdays, especially when people remember them and make them special for you. But time flies. One day you find yourself an year younger, while just an angle change of the clock hand, and you suddenly find yourself an year older, on the other side of the twenties, thirties, forties, and so on. You realise that you've suddenly become old!

Time does fly!

Another Diwali will be gone and another year will be gone. Some things will change, some will stay the same. Lots of people will change and still others will be the same for you! New people will come in your life and the old ones will fade away.

In all this, life will move on. There's no stopping. You'll make mistakes, you'll be rewarded. You'll be idle, you'll be busy! You'll be happy, you'll be sad. You'll be lonely, you'll be among company. In all this, time will not stop!

Keep moving!

Nothing Much To Write About

...but just thought of writing...anything that comes to mind.

I finally completed that Myths and Legends of the Hindus and Buddhists book. I was rather disappointed with the book. I had imagined to contain quite a store of information about our Hindu gods and goddesses, and about Buddhism. But it was nothing more than a compilation of stories and myths. The language too was not to my taste, pretty didactic, and written from a western point of view. So, all in all, I am happy I pursued though totally bored with the book and completed it. And I am supremely glad that I am done with the book and can now move on to better and more interesting books.

The next one I have started on is Gerald Durrel's My Family and Other Animals. It's funny, interesting, and full of life. But what I am really waiting for is The Secret of Nagas. Let's see how long it takes for me to complete Durrel's book and move on to the Nagas.

XXX

Dussehra is gone and Diwali is round the corner. How will life change after that? Will it change? For better?

At work, new and interesting responsibilities are coming up. New challenges are there on the road. It's going to be my test. I'll have to be careful performing my new responsibilities, making sure I am fair, confident, and understanding. At the same time, I'll have to keep learning new things and keep myself updated. Let's see if I can handle all that.

On the personal front, looking forward to new beginnings. Looking forward to better things and better life. Let's see if life gives me all that!

XXX

Tomorrow's Friday and Saturday, hopefully I'll spend time with me family. Looking forward to the fun!

ती. बाबांस आणि सौ. आईस,

ती. बाबांस आणि सौ. आईस,

शि. न. वि. वि. पत्र लिहिण्यास कारण खरं काहीच नाही. सहज मनात आलं, की तुम्हा दोघांशी पत्रातून बोलावं. म्हणून हा प्रयत्न. खरं तर मी तुम्हा दोघांना खूप जास्त miss करते. बऱ्याच वेळेस असं वाटतं की तडक तुम्हाला येऊन भेटावा. पण वेळे अभावी नाही जमत.

आज लग्न होवून दोन वर्ष होत आली. मी रुळले आहे नवीन घरी, नवीन ठिकाणी. तरीही तुमची आठवण पदोपदी आल्यावाचून राहत नाही. आज आई-बाबा काय करत असतील? आई निघाली असेल का कामाला ? बाबांचे क्लास्सेस कसे चालू असतील? असे कायम विचार येतात.

तसे आता "रुटीन" चालू झाला आहे. खर तर, काही महिन्यांपूर्वी असे व्हायचे की खूपच आठवण येते आहे तुमची. पण आता, जसे प्रत्येक जण सवय करतो, तशी मला पण झाली आहे सवय तुमच्या शिवाय राहायची. तुम्हा दोघांना पण झाली असेल कदाचित. तुम्ही "मुलगी सुखात आहे" यातच तुमचा सुख मानता. पण म्हणून मला तुमची आठवण येत नाही असे नाही.

घरात स्वतः काही गोष्टी करताना विचार येतो, की मी कशी होते लग्नाआधी. मग विचार येतो की आई-बाबांबरोबर कसे करायचे मी ह्या गोष्टी. मग थोडा लग्नाआधी करायचे ते, आणि मला जे बरोबर वाटते, अथवा करता येते, जसे करता येते तसे, असे दोन्ही एकत्र करून एक वेगळ्या प्रकारे केला जाते. त्यात पण गम्मत आहे.

आधी सगळेच नवीन आणि वेगळे वाटायचे. पण आता माझा स्वतःचे वेगळे आयुष्य चालू आहे. काही गोष्टी ज्या मी आधी कधीच करायचे नाही त्या करते. आधी ज्या करायचे, त्या आता बिलकुलच करत नाही. खूपच वेगळे आहे, तरीदेखील सारखेच आहे. प्रत्येक लग्न झालेल्या मुलीला असेच काहीसे अनुभव येत असणार.

मला फक्त कधी-कधी असे वाटते की मी मुलगी असल्याने तुमच्या जवळ नाही राहू शकत. त्याही पेक्षा, मुलगी म्हणून स्वतःच्या आई-बाबांची जबाबदारी कमी, आणि सासू-सासर्यांची जास्त, हे बऱ्याच वेळेस ऐकते, त्याचे वाईट वाटते. तुम्ही देखील किती तरी वेळेस म्हणाले आहात...की आता त्या घरचे आधी सांभाळायचे. त्याचे थोडे वाईट वाटते. मग जास्त आठवण होते. असा आपल्या समाजात का विचार केला जातो, हेच कळत नाही. आणि आवडत त्याहून नाही.

मला कायम वाटत राहते, की शेवटी मुलीच्या आई-बाबांचे हात रिक्तच राहतात का?

असो! एव्हडेच सांगायचे होते की मी मजेत आहे. काळजी करू नये. पण तुम्ही दोघे नक्की स्वतःची काळजी घ्या.

तुमचीच,

प्राजक्ता

To Babai

Babai in a pensive mood

Dearest Babai, who is right now not as healthy as she used to be. It is heart-wrenching to see her like that.

Babai, my Aai's Aai, has always been this one strong woman, who has never ever bowed down. To see her in the bed all the time, too weak to talk is very disturbing.

When me and my sister were kids, we used to stay at my grandmom's place after our school. We used to be dropped by our rickshaw-wale kaka in the afternoon, and stayed there till evening, when Baba used to come to pick us up.

Those were magical days! Babai and Kaka (my Ajoba) used to stay at Prabhat Talkies, literally in the heart of Pune city. They had a two-room home that housed so many people at a time. We used to have all our cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, all together under one roof. But the house always seemed enough for all.

Babai was almost the head of the house, taking care of the kitchen, the kids, the grocery, everything around. She was a solid support for my Mami who continued working as a nurse. My cousin, my sister, and I used to spend afternoons together after school. We used to fight during lunch for the place closest to Kaka. We used to fight again for the afternoon siesta for a place closest to Babai. She would pacify us saying that she had long hands and would reach up to all.

She was the one who taught us to read time. She had this old, broken-down clock that she used to tune and change the hour and minute hands, and then ask us to guess the time. I can never forget that red-faced clock and those "timely" hours spent in the balcony.

Babai had always been strong, at times very, very headstrong, to the point of being irritating. She always gloried in the work that she did, the contacts she maintained in her big family, be it on her own side, or her husband's side. Everyone in the family used to respect her, love her, and never forgot what she had done for them. And she really did do everything possible for everyone. No one left her threshold unsatisfied. She was there for everyone, a lighthouse, a beacon, a solid wall of support.

She had her flaws. She was too headstrong. She had been too much in the limelight, too much in the power to give up easily. She always wanted things her way. She has had a tremendous ego. But all in all, she never bowed down, never gave up.

Today, when I see her in the hospital, I can only remember how she was once upon a time. She is diminished, faded, and tired. After 85 years of being headstrong, it is hard to see her bowed down due to her age. She is slowly losing against time.

We all love you, Babai! Just one more loving request we make of you...do not go away by losing away to life. Fight back! Be your own self! Be the iron lady you have been! Make your final exit on your own terms. Not by simply fading away!

Behind The Wall

My office is very close to the jail. The office canteen overlooks a wide patch of land where all women convicts toil hard in the day. As the days have passed, the brown, coarse patch has turned into a green, lively field.

Everyday is a new day to observe these women in the field. When we moved to this new facility, it was a novel place for us all. We were overjoyed to see the vast fields before us and the open skies. We moved in the winter months and were glad to sit in the weak, winter sun and get some sun-bath. The early morning ritual of a hot cup of chai in the sun to warm ourselves was coupled with the gazing and observing of the fields before us.

As winter gave way to summer, the oppressive heat became unbearable. We tried to avoid the open canteen and remain inside in the air conditioning. Even as we had to go to the canteen for our lunch, we grumbled about the brutal heat waves that made it impossible to sit there. Only as the afternoon waned, we stepped into the canteen for a cup of evening chai.

Rains have come very late this season. Long, dry summer was very adamant and troubled everyone with its dry winds and insufferable heat. Finally as the rains have arrived, a fresh breath of life has been given to all. Everyone has also given a sigh of relief that the water situation for the entire city will improve.

During all this time, with the changing landscape, the fields and the workers have been constant. In the harsh summer afternoon, we could see them under the trees. All ladies in green saris toiling hard in the heat. As monsoon approached, they started tilling the fields and then waiting for rains. Two months into the rainy season, their fields have blossomed into green vegetables, and other produce that they will sell.

Every day, for me it is a kind of a routine to look out at the fields and see the convicts working. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that all those ladies working in those fields are convicts. The tremendous efforts that they put into their work is a truly extraordinary.

Perhaps some of them could have been convicted for petty crimes, some might have done gruesome crimes, while a few could also have been convicted wrongly. But they all have the same routine now, same lifestyle. A few could have been from rich families, while others from poor families. But in the world behind that big wall, they just are all the same. Neither poor, nor rich; neither educated, nor coarse, just plain criminals who are all on an equal level.

Or so it seems! Inside the walls, what happens one wouldn't know. There would be a hierarchy even among the hardest of the criminals. They might perhaps still be bullying some weaklings in the group. Perhaps only before the wardens they behave themselves while without a watchful eye, they go back to being the ruffians that they are thought to be.

Each one of them would have a story to tell. Of why and how they landed up in the jail. How they have their families behind them, how their kids might be surviving without them. It must be difficult for them to be without their kids and families.

I always wonder what each one of them must be thinking of when they are serving their sentences. Do they feel ashamed of what they did? Do they feel good that they did what was right? Do they feel stuck in that little world behind the big wall? Some of them could be waiting for the end of their sentences so that they go out and lead a better life. They have perhaps learnt from their mistakes and during their time in the prison, they have come to understand what life really is.

All in all, for me it is an everyday experience of seeing the ladies toiling in the fields and doing something that not all could boast of in an urban landscape. But then, they also have done something that not all would normally do.

An Hour Of Drive

I got up early, cooked, cleaned, got ready, and we left for office at 9.30 a.m. on the dot. In hopes of reaching early to office, we were to meet only with disappointment.

As usual, for apparently no reason, the signal at Khadki Bazaar was not working. That affected the traffic till almost a kilometer behind. I have just not understood the reason of shutting of traffic signals and manning the traffic manually.

Why can't the right authorities understand that it just does not make sense! With one signal off, there is so much of wastage of time, money, petrol, and an overall increase in the frustration of thousands of drivers. Not to count the extra work the traffic police have to do! It's sheer madness!

And because there is already a bottleneck, everyone just wants to go before the other. No one is ready to stop, allow others to move, or follow traffic rules. Two-wheelers encroach on the footpath, pedestrians cannot walk on the roads, trucks, buses, cars just race to move ahead. Pandemonium!

So today, even after starting at 9.30 a.m., we just did not reach early. It was an hour's drive! The futility of starting early!

Doing Those Things

I have again started following a couple of Marathi TV serials that are there on air. I like them. Both these, I wish I can follow everyday. But I know that is never going to happen. Firstly, I don't get to watch what I want on TV when I am home. And secondly, we usually don't reach home by the time the serials are shown. But both serials are good: उंच माझा झोका and एका लग्नाची दुसरी गोष्ट.

Both deal with different subjects, both are directed well, and the most important point is that they are not about the fighting, conniving, saas-bahu stupid themes.

Apart from that, I am also reading different types of books. If I am reading fiction at a point, I complete it and move on to something like autobiography or philosophy, or facts and mythology, or even something as simple as children's book. It's exciting.

And one thing I have done plenty is thinking, thinking, thinking. Speculating, rethinking, regarding, judging,  doubting, understanding, surmising, supposing, recalling, grasping, fathoming, realizing, theorizing, suspecting, concluding, hoping, awaiting, assuming, and getting exhausting doing all this.

That's how life is at the moment! 

On Watching Agneepath

...the new Agneepath, starring Hrithik Roshan.

It affected me in many different ways. We were around 10-12 minutes late for the movie. We missed the start. But I don't think that mattered much. I have not seen Amitabh Bachchan's movie and so this version was totally new for me.

The first thing that stuck me was the tremendous violence in the movie. It is downright nerve-wracking. I was on the edge of my seat and was not sure I had done the right thing by coming to watch the movie. The movie starts with violence where Vijay's father is murdered by Kancha, the main antagonist. It is an incident that drives the movie. It drives each and every move that Vijay makes. It sets a grim tone to the whole movie. There are almost no light moments; emotional, yes; but lighter moments...I really cannot remember.

Vijay's father, a school master had tried to oppose Kancha's dream of turning the village in a drug center by renting the lands of all villagers. Kancha successfully removes the thorn (Vijay's father) from his way, while the whole village celebrates that they can now freely help Kancha. Kancha lures them that their lands would be used for a salt factory and they would get money out of it. This grim victory is actually the downfall of the villagers. They win the battle of doing away with the schoolmaster and in turn lose the war of having a happy and prosperous village. They literally walk towards their downfall.

When Vijay's father is murdered, his heavily pregnant mother is shown being trampled at the feet of the angry village people. I was hoping that they wouldn't show her bleeding to death, and thank God, they didn't! Eventually, the mother and son escape to the big city and arrive in a basti. The mother goes into labour pains and a daughter is born.

Soon enough, Vijay-a boy of 12 years, witnesses a murder by Rauf Lala, and lies to the police about the murderer. Vijay  also murders the police officer who tries to get him tell the truth. His mother severs all her ties with the son and moves out of his life to lead a life of her own with her daughter. We now see a Vijay that's all grown up handsome and all with a girlfriend, who works as a mafia leader for Rauf Lala. Rauf is not just a drug mafia, but also a human trafficker.

As Hrithik Roshan entered as the older Vijay, I found it very similar to Fiza, a movie directed by Khalid Mohammed. Fiza is the story of how a sister seeks out to find her brother-a troubled boy who goes on to become a terrorist. Vijay in Agneepath too has had a disturbed childhood that has made him a violent mafia leader. I think I made that comparison more because Hrithik Roshan has played the troubled boy in both the movies.

I won't give away the whole story here. But what with songs in between, more murders, mass killings, double dealings, we are finally led to a climax, that's again a replication of what we saw in the beginning.

The once happy and prosperous village that Vijay and Kancha hailed from, has now turned into a barren land. Death, disease, poverty, unhappiness, and distress is what you see and it makes you feel all the more horrified and hollow.

At every violent, illegal, unhealthy event in the film, I was more and more engrossed with feelings of futility, hopelessness, dread, and loss.

What also aided these feelings was the tremendous background music given by Ajay-Atul, the Marathi composers, who have done a fantastic job. The tension, the evilness, the futility, the murderous villains, the dark atmosphere is all enhanced by the background score. It increases your heartbeats, it gives you the chills, it makes you all nervous. Salute to the two.

The duo have also provided the music to the songs in the movie. One particular song affected me in a totally different way. The song is "Abhi Mujh Mein Kahin" and shows how Vijay enjoys his time with his sister and girlfriend together. The lyrics are really nice and the song made me cry. The emotions of Vijay meeting his sister after 15 years, and how he had lived each unhappy day to enjoy this one happy day in his life resonated with me and brought out completely different feelings. I don't know why that happened. But I cried remembering my parents, how sometimes I miss them very much, how they miss me, how we are unable to be with each other in our moments of distress and happiness too. I thought how each day I hope to have them with me and meet them. I cannot describe all that I felt as I cried dearly. It was a very, very distressful moment for me. I miss my parents a lot. A lot.

My life has been so very different since my marriage. The song brought it all out. I was quite disturbed for that evening and night. The violence and this song of the movie have made a major impact on me.

Agneepath has really been a different experience for me. Unforgettable!

The Start

It's really the distance. It's always told merely 200 kms. But it turns out to be really 250 kms. And you just keep on driving and driving. Mile after mile you cover hoping that the next turn will be the last turn, but it turns out to be just another turn.

Perhaps, it happens only with me. But it never turns out that I leave for a journey at a pre-decided time. More often than not, I tend travelling for a longer period of time than required.

As I traverse the known roads, the destination seems to be close by. I travel those roads with a feeling that four-five hours is nothing and I'll reach the destination soon. Every turn is familiar and I am happy that the journey has finally started.

As miles pass after miles, lunch hour approaches. I get down to stretch myself and to have lunch. If it's a pre-decided lunch stop, you the taste and food. It it's not, I am in anticipation of what I'll finally get before me. After the sumptuous, or not-so-good food, you are back on road.

As the journey progresses, I start losing patience. The journey seems to be never-ending. Turn after turn and mile after mile is crossed. I keep looking at the odometer counting the kilometers that I have covered.

At last after being completely tired and woebegone, huts and small houses are visible. The town that we have decided to stay finally arrives. My fears that the town may not actually exist are thankfully not realised. I get down and stretch myself.

Finally, one part of the journey is over. In fact, the Start has finally ended.

Desperately Needing A Break

Working harder than ever for the release on December 15...Getting tired of closed environments...Sick of unhealthy surroundings...Frustrated at the inertia...Wishing to create my own space...Bugged up with unasked for scenes...Desperately needing a break!

At times, life really sucks!

The Slap Rules

Really! What repercussions a slap can make! What sound! And yet another way for the media to make an issue of something. Anyway, the media always needs some or the other thing to talk about and to make a big deal about!

But, seriously...one slap Mr. Sharad Pawar got (which I think he certainly deserved!) and the whole country is in a uproar. Panic is everywhere as it is rumoured of riots in Pune and outskirts. I mean, c'mon people! Is it worth it? And in reality, nothing had really happened. No riots, no fights, nothing. It was pretty calm and quiet. Only a sudden rush of people to reach back home.

Ever wondered how much of time might have been wasted? How many man hours wasted because people had to leave their jobs midway? How many more hours were lost because of the traffic jams that occurred because all people had left work at the same time, creating a chaos? How many more hours wasted in front of the idiot box listening to all the crap and hue and cry of the overblown issue?

And what was the media talking about...breach of security, how Mr. Pawar was indeed wronged, how the man who slapped must have been a mad man, how he was taken into custody. Is that all? Ever wondered why he took such a step? In fact, I would like to shake the young man's hand for the daring he has shown. He has done a most worthy job that no one else could have done. He most certainly deserves a Bharat Ratna as someone mentioned!

If people did not as much blink an eye at the incidence, shouldn't we say that most felt that Mr. Pawar got what he deserved? Perhaps people really are happy about what has happened! No wonder its video became such a big hit on You Tube!

What I would like to say in all this is that let not such minor incidences ruin our routines. Such incidences will happen (more I hope so!) We can't stop living as much as we can't when our brethren are killed in bomb blasts. And certainly, this issue does not deserve the magnitude of a bomb blast. It is not at all that serious. After all, it's just a slap! And to make it such a big issue itself is more embarrassing for the receiver.

The least we can do is forget about the whole incidence and not respond to any "Bandh." Moreover, we can  only pray for more such brave men, who dare to act!

Responsible

When things do not work, I realise I am responsible for them. When I screw up things, I know I am responsible.

But when people don't behave well with me for no apparent reason, but just that I exist...even then am I responsible?

My one action can bring about so many changes. It has changed so many people, it has perhaps broken so many hearts...severed so many relations. Is it after all worth it? More than that...I shall always have this constant gnawing at my heart that it's all my doing.

But what really is the issue? I don't know. I cannot fathom. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to make the other person feel comfortable and loved in a group. I cannot understand why some have not bothered to include me in. Why do some people still prefer a ghetto? What's so disgusting, so bad about me that I get alienated?

Why do I not get enough power, recognition, freedom to do things? Why is everything so unhealthy? What have I done after all? I cannot understand. I cannot make head or tail of some situations.

But in all this, I do feel responsible for making a mess. Or perhaps starting a mess. It's going to be one scar, one guilty feeling that won't be ridden off.

Crappy Day With A Wet End

Started my day today with a fight. Went to office in a rage. Got late. Was stuck in traffic. Got late. Attended a stupid presentation. Did some work. Was irritated the whole day for unnecessary reasons. Got irritated with a colleague and did not even apologise. Started back from work. Found car was not working. Took rickshaw. Reached destination. Heavy downpour had started. Travelled back to office in the rains. Car still not working. Waited at office for some time for rains to stop. They didn't (of course!) Took a rickshaw till the bus stop. No bus was stopping at the right place. Had to walk to get a bus. Finally got the bus. Got down and walked back home.

End result: Dead tired and feeling all the more crappy!

That's life!