When things do not work, I realise I am responsible for them. When I screw up things, I know I am responsible.
But when people don't behave well with me for no apparent reason, but just that I exist...even then am I responsible?
My one action can bring about so many changes. It has changed so many people, it has perhaps broken so many hearts...severed so many relations. Is it after all worth it? More than that...I shall always have this constant gnawing at my heart that it's all my doing.
But what really is the issue? I don't know. I cannot fathom. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to make the other person feel comfortable and loved in a group. I cannot understand why some have not bothered to include me in. Why do some people still prefer a ghetto? What's so disgusting, so bad about me that I get alienated?
Why do I not get enough power, recognition, freedom to do things? Why is everything so unhealthy? What have I done after all? I cannot understand. I cannot make head or tail of some situations.
But in all this, I do feel responsible for making a mess. Or perhaps starting a mess. It's going to be one scar, one guilty feeling that won't be ridden off.
But when people don't behave well with me for no apparent reason, but just that I exist...even then am I responsible?
My one action can bring about so many changes. It has changed so many people, it has perhaps broken so many hearts...severed so many relations. Is it after all worth it? More than that...I shall always have this constant gnawing at my heart that it's all my doing.
But what really is the issue? I don't know. I cannot fathom. I cannot understand why it is so difficult to make the other person feel comfortable and loved in a group. I cannot understand why some have not bothered to include me in. Why do some people still prefer a ghetto? What's so disgusting, so bad about me that I get alienated?
Why do I not get enough power, recognition, freedom to do things? Why is everything so unhealthy? What have I done after all? I cannot understand. I cannot make head or tail of some situations.
But in all this, I do feel responsible for making a mess. Or perhaps starting a mess. It's going to be one scar, one guilty feeling that won't be ridden off.
Sometimes things just happen. For reasons unknown only to us.. . Blaming yourself for that is of no use.. (Been there done that- just doesn't help).. Don't worry gal.. u'll come out it soon enough..
ReplyDeleteDear @p@rn@, thanks so much for support! Thanks for being there. :)
ReplyDeleteIf people alienate such a warm and caring person as you, it's their loss. (Hmpf!) And it's not fault of yours. Purge your soul of the guilt. Don't let it bother you even for the next minute.
ReplyDeleteAwwww! simplypallu, I don't deserve so much of love! You'll make me cry. Thanks for being there and supporting me.
ReplyDeleteWell said Pallu... And Peeves.. Not a word wrong in what Pallu said.. All ABSOLUTELY true.... And yup.. we're always there... :)
ReplyDeletesimplypallu and @p@rn@, love you gals! :) Bless you both!
ReplyDelete