Itni Si Khushi

I cannot believe that I haven't written a word since more than two years! It's not just saddening, but also downright depressing. Getting caught up in "life" and not dedicating time to one of my favourite things is eye-opening. I think I have been callous to just let go of this passion, and I want to remedy that. 

Here's me promising myself that I'll write more regularly.

This past weekend, I managed to find some time to relax and do what I love most — read. (What else!) It was because my daughter had a playdate with her best friend, busy doing whatever pre-teenagers do nowadays, and basically not bothering me the whole day.

I enjoyed the day reading and watching some TV, listening to all the screaming coming from the closed  door of my daughter's room. It reminded me of a scene in one of my favourite books, Hotshot Doc by R.S. Grey. It's when Bailey and Matt are in their room, listening to Bailey's sister, Josie, and her friends screaming in the living room. 

The book vividly describes a typical scene of school-going girls hanging out together and having a great time. For them, there are no worries outside that room, and no thoughts outside the very important discussions that they have. As I heard my daughter and her friend arguing and screaming, I could easily relate to that scene. It made me sigh in contentment and joy.

Joy that we as parents can give our kids such precious gifts of time and place to hang out with their friends without adult supervision.

Can you ever remember doing something like that when we were kids? Playing with friends behind closed doors was never even thought of, not because it was not allowed, but because there was never a designated "kids" room. There was always one or the other parent around; if not the parents, then the grandparents. Frankly, not being alone wasn't ever an issue. Like all kids, we were always in our world, unbothered by the spying eyes.

Nevertheless, I'm glad to give the time and place that today's kids need to be on their own and have fun. It doesn't mean that we aren't keeping tabs on what's really happening behind those closed doors. But a bit of privacy is good for everyone. :)

Those Pesky Household Chores

Ten o' clock at night and I just finished sending the last email of the day. The dinner is done, and the kid is about to go to bed.

"What's for lunch tomorrow?" says a sleepy voice.

"I haven't decided yet!"

That's your standard answer. But inwardly you just cursed yourself, because not only have you really not decided what to cook, but you haven't even prepared the menu. And you still have to empty the dishwasher and reload it, fold the laundry, and also cut the vegetables for tomorrow.

Also, your kid wants to chat and delay sleeping!

Isn't that a usual scene? It certainly is in my house. According to me, three of the most boring chores are unloading the dishwasher, or if it's the maid who cleans the utensils, then putting the clean utensils back in their places, folding the laundry, and cutting veggies.

I never want to these tasks, and try to postpone them as much as possible. Invariably, it's the end of the day by the time I get to do them, and then because I don't want to push them to the next day, I end up doing them late at night.

I really, really want a Genie to get these chores done for me. All other tasks I can manage, although grudgingly. But these three really get on my nerves. They are boring, time-consuming, menial, and repetitive. Also, nobody helps me with them!

That's not entirely true though. My husband does help me with the cleaning and cutting of vegetables. I especially hate cleaning the green veggies. So he cleans them for me (sometimes). I now have found a vegetable vendor who sells cleaned, cut vegetables. Yay!

I shudder when I look back at a hundred years back or even fifty when women did these tasks at home. I cannot imagine spending time doing them day in and day out.

But here's what I realised. In those times, and even now, these tasks can actually be fun. Ever thought of putting on your favourite music when you're cleaning the vegetables? Or even watching an episode of your favourite show on an OTT platform?

Perhaps, involving the entire household, even kids really might be fun. It actually could be those times when the entire family sits together and talks. And you know, really talks. Without mobiles, TVs, and any other gadgets.

These household chores are repetitive tasks that can be done while multi-tasking. And what better time than to spend it with the family talking about nothing and everything? May be that's when you'll be finalising your vacation plan, bitch about the obnoxious person in your team, listen to your kid's school adventures, and even resolve the world climate change problem.

Remember those old movies when the grandmas or mothers were shown making those वाती for diyas? Or grinding masalas, making chutneys, cleaning vegetables, and even cooking? So many of these tasks have now eased up. You don't have to grind masalas or flour on the stone grinder manually, or even manually make those वाती for diyas. Those are all available easily in the market.

I also know that it is not easy doing all these tasks at home, especially for a working woman. And I'm not even against getting all these items ready-made.

But in case you want to do these at home, it might be a good idea if the whole family joins in to share the chores. After all, work shared, is work lessened.

Delay Tactics

 "I'm hungry!"

"I just came to get a glass of water."

"I can't find the notebook."

"Teachers just don't understand. Why do they pile us up with so much writing?"

"But I already know this. Why do I have to do it again?"

"Yes, yes, I've already started." (The book's not even opened!)

"If I've to do homework, give me my dinner." (As if I don't feed her at all!)

"I'm tired!"

"I'm afraid to sit in that room alone. Can you sit with me at the table?" (All puppy eyes.)

"But you said I can go and play!" ('After doing your homework' wasn't obviously heard.)

And after all this, when finally a word or two are written, along with scowls and frowns, there's still the under-the-breath grumbling...

"Teachers are evil! They make us write."

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a teacher and give you all and my teachers so much homework."

I'm going to hold her to up to this promise when she grows up! And I'm going to have fun watching her when my kiddo has to deal with forty more students in her class when they give such reasons for not doing their homework.

The Shapes In The Clouds

Dragon, alien, crocodile, fox, alligator, and a whole bunch of them you'll see if you choose to. But do you even look up? I don't. Or to be accurate, I'd forgotten till my daughter reminded me to!

This little exercise started in our household when my daughter read a lesson in her English book about how a little boy finds new shapes in the clouds. Their homework for that day was to go look out the window and find shapes in the sky. And how we do that everyday. Even when we are out riding in a car.

Boy! How we have really missed out on those carefree things! Those little things that made up our childhood. That finger crossing that we did when we saw a red mail van, those pencil shavings that we kept in water overnight hoping that they would turn into erasers (duh!), the small designs that we cut and preserved from the wedding invitations that we received in the hope of using them for making greetings and then not using them because we liked them too much!

Innocent things that didn't matter to anyone but to yourself. A little ghungroo that you found on the road that you've still kept, an ice-cream shaped eraser that you got as a birthday present, that peacock feather that your dad got for you on a rainy day, a keychain that your best friend gave you. So many things, now lost to antiquity, boxed up in a long-forgotten drawer of an old table.

As my girl grows, I find my own childhood in her. Some of the things that she does or says remind me of how we grew up, what our aspirations were, how our playmates were! Our childhood is far behind us, but our kids bring back those memories that help us relive them.

I don't regret growing up. But I do love it when my girl reminds me of what we did when we were kids. And it does make my heart carefree to do some of those things again.

I found an octopus today in the sky. What did you find?

Surviving Corona From Home

I'm writing after a very long time! But thanks to the Corona virus, I've got to be at home, although working, and could spend an hour or so to start blogging again!

I hope all my (meagre) readers are safe and taking the necessary precautions to stay away from the deadly n-COVID-19.

But I feel that being at home is no less life-threatening! Dealing with your spouse, kids, may be in-laws, and self at home for all 24 hours of the day, without a break for a week or more is going to take a toll on our mental health.

It starts right from a place to sit to work from home. The place should be comfortable in which you can stick for at least 4-6 hours at a stretch. It should be airy with good light, and most importantly, where you can receive the home wifi/broadband signal! Network issues with multiple people working are going to be frequent.

If you haven't spare rooms for two people to work together, attending meetings over phone is another challenge. We are used to meeting rooms when we have meetings. There are bound to be funny incidences when the mike is inadvertently left on, and you might hear discussions about what is to be cooked for dinner! Remember to take it all with a pinch of salt, and do not invite yourself for dinner at your colleague's place! You never know, you could be next in line for a mike fiasco!

Some of our colleagues do work from home regularly. We are used to hearing some background sounds such as dogs barking, kids howling, and even doorbells ringing. But in these times, be ready to have your kids around, constantly badgering you to play with them, help them with some task, curiously asking about your work just as you are talking on phone. Just bear with these times, and also enjoy the moments!

In fact, being with our kids and family is something that we rarely get. Enjoy this time with the kids. Just observe what they do the whole day, what they talk, what they think, and interact with them more! You'll probably get to know their humorous side, their wacky side, ingenuity, curiosity, and the fun side too!

Like yesterday, we had gone to get some milk, but we didn't get any. As we returned home on bike, it took me a few minutes to register the fact that my daughter was happily singing "No milk tomorrow! No milk tomorrow!!" (My daughter hates to drink milk, and was overjoyed to know that I wouldn't make her drink milk if there wasn't any at home!)

So stay put! All you know, we might still survive the self-imposed quarantine, and even learn to be more with our family!

Take care everyone!

Revisions

Exams are on and my days end with revisions. Not for my little one who's taking her mid-terms! The revision is for me.

My little one has agreed to do revisions with me on the condition that I do all her study again after she is done with her revision. So here I am, dreading the revision, not because I am afraid of the little teacher, but for different reasons altogether!

Here's an example:

My work is on the right!

Writing in a four-line pattern is not a joke now. With my fingers that are used to computer typing and not holding a pen, forget even a pencil, it is such a task to make the fingers move to write in a legible handwriting. My little teacher is very strict about not writing beyond the top and bottom red lines.

Whenever I get such a revision, I am reminded of the lengthy answers that I had to write, including the English, Hindi, and Marathi essays in school.

I also need to remember to (deliberately) make mistakes so that my teacher can correct me. The teacher is also very clever. She sometimes dictates the wrong words and "corrects" those in my notebook!

But my teacher is also very generous! If I so much as make a crying face, she will immediately give me a couple of more stars with an Excellent! remark even when I don't deserve it! Such a wonderful teacher indeed!

So the next time you sit down with your kids for revisions, do send a "Good Luck" to me too!

Like Mother Like Daughter

The other day, I was at home having lunch. As I finished my lunch, being in a super relaxed mood, I started talking gibberish. And then I grinned! A big, happy, proud grin!

The reason for that grin is that my daughter, Mahika, does exactly this the whole day. She just keeps talking gibberish the whole day, sing stupid songs, make up songs randomly and impromptu, and sing them in a sing-song voice, with her own music!!

It drives me crazy at times to listen to her songs! It mostly is the words that are just being spoken. So  you might be saying, "Mahika, please pick up your clothes!" Immediately, you'll hear from her: "Pick up your clothes, shadoo-do-do-do-do! Aaya-Munni tells to pick up the clothes shadoo-do-do-do-do!"

Or may be:

Pick up the clothes
Fothes, Toathes, Glothes, Mothes, Shothes!

Duh!!!

But then, I shouldn't really be complaining! You see, my mom says that I was just like that! Ohh...I mean, she is just like me! I used to do all these weird sounds, and be constantly talking all the time. Apparently, my daughter has inherited the wrong genes from me!

But then, to own it, I feel good, even proud! And I get a glimpse of what my parents must have gone through (ohh the boredom of hearing those stupid words and senseless songs!)

It is looking at my own five and a half year old self! 

The Drama Of Fancy Dress

The new year of the school has started. We are covering the portion faster than the last year. And in the middle of all this, we get a notice of a fancy dress competition for the 4-year olds in 3-weeks time.

After last year's experience, we decide to start practising right away to ensure that the little one progresses to the final round! There's a preliminary round, and kids who do well are selected for the final round that takes place a week later.

We started discussing what Mahika wanted to be and she came up with the idea of becoming a house! Oh my!! Couldn't she think of something easier?

So then the journey started of trying to find out what to make, how to make, how feasible it is! By that time a week and a half was already gone.

When I was googling for some ideas, I stumbled upon some videos of kids performing in fancy dress as eggs, and we stuck gold! Mahika now wanted to be an egg!

The next phase of the journey started. I viewed those videos online and came up with some lines that she could learn. I made her practise the lines with appropriate gestures. She too enthusiastically learned the lines without getting irritated by the number of times that I made her repeat them.

We got the costume on rent from a nearby shop and made an egg cutout at home to go with that. Mahika was all excited about the whole fancy dress competition and the egg cutout.

With (more than) enough practice for Mahika (and for me where I had started reading eng. - read ‘engineering’ as ‘egg’), we finally were ready for the D-Day!

The school was thronging with multi-coloured fairies, Barbie dolls, fruits, trees, soldiers, policemen, pilots, farmers, and animals. There were different types of mobile phones, toothpastes and toothbrushes, Dairy Milk, Maggi, Bharat Matas, and vehicles.

A few odd ones that stood out were a newspaper (Mahika had become a newspaper last year-they stole our idea!), an egg (Mahika), a rainy cloud (with an umbrella having cotton on the outside for the fluffy cloud and shiny strings to the umbrella as rain), and a rakhi.

It was a pretty sight! All colourful and exciting! The younger kids were looking apprehensive. The older ones, who had already had a fancy dress last year knew the drill and were looking out for their friends.

Girls and boys with their different props were hustling and bustling to their classes! All those props made me think of how hard the parents had worked! All this for the drama of just a couple of minutes!! So much of trouble, so much hard work…all over within a few minutes!

Some parents had been smart and rented out outfits! Some had painted and cut and coloured and pasted the props themselves. Some others might have just reused items that they already had…There was this little girl who had become a fairy. One of the parents said that the girl must have worn her birthday frock, because every girl must be having a frock like that!

Once all kids had been tucked into their classes, the parents were all outside the closed doors. Only after the school got over did we meet the kids to know how they did! And all we got to know was, “आया, मी छान म्हणाले egg चं !"

All parents thought that their kids had done the best and were expecting that they would be selected for the final round. But only a handful got selected. Mine wasn’t! Frankly, it was a little disappointing! But then, participating is what is important.

To take it in the right note, as one of the parents mentioned, “Thank goodness the kid wasn’t selected! We don’t have to do this fancy dress drama again for the final round!” How true indeed!

The rented outfit is returned and the drama is over! But we still have the egg cutout as a reminder of the good fun we had!!

New Year New School

Mahika started her new school today. It must have been quite an experience for the little girl. New place, new teachers, unknown faces, unknown surroundings, and new friends. But like all new kids, she put up with it rather bravely.

The day started with us all waking up early, getting ready, and starting for school on time. We reached the school well before time to see a whole crowd waiting at the school gate. Various school vans, buses, cars, bikes were parked on the road. All parents with their little ones were gathered together waiting for the gate to open.

After waiting for around 25 minutes, the gate was finally opened. There was a huge rush to go in, just like entering a theatre for a movie. A total chaos reigned for some time where nobody knew which line was for which class, and how long it would take to go in. In the big rush, students and parents were all cramped towards the gate, sweating, and getting irritated by the minute.

But even in that big rush, the little ones were really brave. I couldn't hear anybody crying. Every little one was anxious, and fearful of what lay ahead. But they all were very forbearing and brave. Kudos to the little ones!

As we entered, we could see the school buildings, playground, and the surroundings. We all took our kids to their respective classes and left them at the doorstep.

It was a big moment. My little girl had grown up to go to a big school. Her eyes were so expressive, full of anxiety and fear, yet trying to be brave, and holding back her tears. Although not completely heart-wrenching to see her go, I did feel a little shaken to see her sitting in a strange place, coping it up with everything. Brave sweetheart!!

All parents waited outside the gate for the first day of the school to get over. We formed groups and talked about the school, studies, experiences of interviews in different schools, and remembered our own school time.

Soon enough time was up, and all parents again gathered at the gate. A few first goers returned with crying kids and there was an eerie silence around. Each parent was wondering how his/her kid was.

I picked up Mahika from her class. She did cry for some time on the first day, but was a bit settled as I picked her up. Today, she didn't cry at all. Bless you!

The first hurdle is crossed. More to go. But to start well is half done!

I am proud of you dear Mahika!

... कभी ना बीते ये चमकीले दिन

I had been on vacation with my parents, Sanjeev, and Mahika. And it was a great time. It was a short vacation but really good.

We drove down to the place and for once, I was in the front seat without Mahika. She was with my parents in the back seat. We were a bit cramped with a lot of luggage. But despite that, we weren't too tired when we reached our destination.

Mahika behaved really well in the trip. No tantrums, no irritating behaviour! Possibly because she had her grandparents with her with whom she doesn't get enough time to spend. She didn't complain about the food and ate whatever we gave her.

She had a gala time in the hotel and enjoyed the lavish breakfasts in the hotel. Although she did insist on certain set of her favourite clothes, she wasn't very unmanageable.

And what she really enjoyed was being at the sea. It was her first trip to the sea and she just loved it. She wasn't afraid of the water at all and was bold enough to venture out on her own in the water. She also had fun on the beach collecting sea shells, playing in the sand, and being overall very dirty. It was great to watch her at sea.

I had a minor stomach upset and had to take rest. This trip will most probably be the only time when I could rest when I was really unwell and not worry about Mahika, because my mother was there to look after her. I dozed off to sleep while Mahika played with my parents and could get the much needed rest.

While returning, although I drove for some time, I also sat with Mahika in the back seat, enjoying the breeze, greenery, nature, and the drive. It really reminded me of the song from Dil Chahta Hain..."Dil chahta hain, Kabhi na beete ye chamkile din..." as I looked outside the window. I could see the sun streaming in from the high trees and felt really good.

As the song aptly says, this trip has given me a lifetime of memories that I'll always cherish. I only wish the vacation wasn't over so soon!

Side Effects Of Being A Mother Of A Toddler

As your baby grows into a toddler, the Side Effects of Being a Mother slightly diminish and you develop the following side effects of being the mother of a toddler:

• You can sing all nursery rhymes, even those that you never knew in your childhood.
• You keep humming the nursery rhymes throughout the day.
• You are unaware of any new film songs, or for that matter any new films.
• Your diet has changed from 'bahar ka khana' to 'ghar ka healthy khana' to benefit your kid.
• You keep on searching for newer recipes for snacks and breakfast.
• You use the new vocabulary that your kid has developed. You'll probably use all those words when you are at office and with friends. You'll also use the same phrases and the same intonation.
• As a mother, you would be the only person who really understands your kid's language.
• Your friends and colleagues are most probably bored to death by listening to your kid's stories.
• Your schedule still revolves around the toddler and becomes a little difficult when it is disrupted.
• You have most probably gone through the kid-starts-school phase and gone through the heart-wrenching 'rona-dhona'. If you haven't yet, you'll soon go through that and you must steel yourself for that.
• In gardens and public places, especially in society parks, every parent will ask you your kid's age. The immediate question thereafter is which school you've chosen for the kid. The third question is the fee structure, followed by the board of education, and where do you keep the kid when not in school.
• You'll secretly compare your kid to the other kids of the same age and pride yourself on your kid's progress.
• You'll hear at least 75% of mothers complain to each other about how the kids eat nothing or are extremely fussy eaters.
• Ultimately, though you love every phase of your kid's childhood, you'll remember your kid's baby days and wonder how fast time has flown.

My Daughter Is Growing Up

Mahika, my daughter, is already two and has started Playgroup. It has been a wonderful journey seeing her grow up to a beautiful, adamant, smart, funny, little girl.

Sometimes, she seems almost grown up while at other times she seems a helpless baby clinging to her mommy.

But I am immensely proud of my little angel. At most times she is well-behaved and cares for everyone around her. She has her temper tantrums and drives me crazy when she throws them. But then, no fun without that. It would be so boring to have a tantrum-free child at home.

Mahika has been going to the daycare since last year. She also used to be in the Playgroup class then. That has given her an added advantage of knowing all the rhymes and loves all the activities there.

But since her official class has started, I've suddenly realised how much she has learnt. She knows most of the nursery rhymes and songs. She knows a few opposites too, in English as well as in Marathi. She can count up till seven in Marathi and up till 10 in English. She knows almost all the colours, blue being her favourite. A few months back it was (b)ink. That's pink. She sometimes says 'b' for 'p'.

Although she can say all sounds, she purposely replaces some on her own. So she used to call herself Makka, which changed to Mika. And now it's Pika.

And she now wants to do everything on her own. It is fun to watch her try things out.

Her sense of humor is quite astonishing. She can laugh at all absurd things and even at herself on some word play that occurs inadvertently. Her humor, playfulness, and caring nature endears her to everyone.

The apple of everyone's eye, she's growing up real fast. It won't be really long when she will be totally independent and out there in the big world.

Hello World!

My last post was in the August of last year. And all this time, I kept on thinking of returning to blogging again. But never did I ever get the time, and somehow didn't have the inclination. I hope that today's post won't be the only one this year.

Three quarters of the year is already gone and we are all looking forward to the Navratri, Dussehra, and Diwali festivals, as well as the end-of-the-year vacations.With all this, I am also looking forward to the end of the current release that I am working on. It will be a good release done and also taking stock of how the whole year went by.

That reminds me of how quickly the year is gone. After Mahika was born, I got back to work after a break of seven months. I rejoined in December and it's already almost a year. Mahika is also one and half years old. This past one year has been full of surprises, learnings, unlearnings, adjustments, frustrations, and of course joy.

Mahika is a constant source of joy. She finally started walking at around 14 months and now runs around everywhere. Full of energy, she keeps me on my toes all the time. She keeps herself busy all the time by playing some sort of game, babbling away all the time, following me in the house, reading books, listening to her favourite songs and watching her favourite videos. When I go to work, I really miss her.

At work, I cannot believe that I have already worked on two major releases this year. A lot has changed at work. We have had a change in management and the team has changed. It really is a reminder that change is permanent. It's been exciting to go through this phase and survive.

I keep on thinking of what should I write about in my next post. And I still don't know. But I hope that I'll keep writing something consistently.

Change Of Status

It's been months and months since I have posted here. The last one was in October when I was staying at my mom's place. Now so many things have changed.

I have now moved to a place closer to office, staying apart from in-laws. It was such fun to set up my own place, decide where to put what, buy the required utensils, and generally manage the household. It definitely is a job to keep a tab on all things in the house: grocery, washing, cleaning, changing of bed linen, ensuring guests have the required things, bathrooms are cleaned, maids are kept in check, monthly expenses are monitored. But I love doing all this and enjoy it immensely.

Being closer to office means I don't have to travel a lot. It also means that Sanjeev can pop up home earlier and whenever required.

Having my own place means my relatives and my parents can visit me without inhibition. I can do whatever I can, place things the way I want them, and generally be the queen of the hive. :)

But most importantly, what has changed is my status. In April, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. I am now not only a wife, but also a mother. And that makes all the difference.

My daughter - Mahika is two months old now. And these days have gone in a whiz. My mother still works, so she could come and support me only for some time. Now I am alone managing a two-month old baby and the entire household. It is tiring, trying, and frustrating at times. But it is fun.

I am on maternity leave now. After few more months, I'll start working again. I don't know how my daughter will cope up with that or how she will react. There's still some time for that.

But the new status of motherhood is a lot of things. It definitely is fun. But it is also a big responsibility. As a mother, I need to take care of so many things for the baby. Playing with the baby, feeding, nursing, bathing, nappy changing, all those things are obviously there. But what comes naturally is the unconditional love that is showered on the baby. Even with the sleepless nights, frustrating times, and constant attention that the baby requires, one look at the baby and you know you can do anything for it.

So far, things have gone well. I am sure I'll enjoy it more as Mahika grows. Sanjeev and I are both tremendously happy that we have a daughter. Now, it's impossible to think of a world without her. Bless you Mahika!

रात्रीचे भजन

काल जन्माष्टमी. मुरली मनोहराचा आगमनाचा दिवस. खरं तर रात्र. रात्री झालेला जन्म आपल्या कृष्णाचा.
ह्या शुभ रात्री शेजारच्या मारुतीच्या देवळात रात्री साधारण दहाच्या सुमारास भजन सुरु झाले. रात्री श्रीकृष्णाचा जन्म होई पर्यंत चालू असावे.

असावे म्हणाले कारण मला भजन संपायच्या आधीच झोप लागली. खूप शांत झोप. कित्येक वर्षांत भजन ऐकता-ऐकता झोपण्याचे भाग्य लाभले नव्हते. ते काल रात्री जमले.

खरे तर भजन म्हणणाऱ्या लोकांचे आवाज काही खूप खास नव्हते. पण तरीही खूप तन्मयतेने भजन चालू होते. टाळ-मृदुंग, आणि हरी नामाचा जप ह्याने आसमंत दुमदुमून गेला होता. हवेतील कुंद गारवा भजनाचे आवाज दश-दिशांना घुमवत होता.

मला आठवण झाली काही वर्षांपूर्वीची. आमच्या घराजवळच्या मारुतीच्या मंदिरात दररोज रात्री भजन होत असे. तेव्हा रात्री झोपताना भजनाचे हलके स्वर आणि टाळ. खूप आल्हादायक वातावरण व्हायचे. तेच काल रात्री अनुभवायला मिळाले.

आज-काल भजन पण ओघानेच ऐकायला मिळते. गावा-पाड्यात अजून होत असतील रात्रीची. पण शहरात अभावानेच.

भजनाकरिता काही सुरेख आवाज असण्याची गरज नाही. मनात भाव असला की ते थेट अंतःकरणात भिडते. म्हणूनच भजन म्हणायला कोणी "Indian Idols" लागत नाहीत. भोळे-भाबडे, कष्टकरी लोक जमवले की झाले.

थोड्याच वर्षांमध्ये आपले म्हातारे-कोतारे लोके पण नाहीशी होतील, तेव्हा भजन म्हणजे काय हे सुद्धा
सांगणारे उरणार नाहीत. तोवर आपण भजनाच्या रंगी रंगून जाऊयात. 

Letting Bygones Be Bygones

In a budding relationship, with all the trust, love, and faith you have in the other person, it is necessary to let bygones be bygones.

Whether you are in office, with acquaintances, with your family and loved ones, you cannot build on hostile feelings. You need to sit back one day and try and understand what is really holding you up.

When in office, you may come across some of your colleagues with whom you are not comfortable. Yet you need to work along with them. Sometimes, it is much easy to ignore the little quirks that may irritate you as long as the work is done. You can easily do that, because after all, it's for a short time that you are together with that person.

Eventually, you get used to the person and the whims and fancies. You come to accept the person as he or she is until your work is getting done and until that person is not a real hindrance to your job, position, and progress. If someone is a hindrance, dealing with that person is an entirely different story.

But on a personal level, what do you do? When a person irritates you, gets on your nerves, and does not let you be, what can you do?

Sometimes, it's best to ignore. But, it certainly is not easy to ignore and let go. Then at times, you don't know how to deal with a person who cannot understand you, is really self-centered, doesn't give you the required space, cannot understand your point of view, is obstinate, and has entirely different goals.

That's the time when you sit down and make each other understand what the goals are. The short-term goals and the long-term ones too. It is time to sit down and clarify things, make each other understand what you like, what you don't.

Mind you, it's not easy to see through somebody else's point of view. Most of the times, the person who has felt dejected, unloved, and lonely will feel themselves to be martyrs. And for you, that person may seem to be the culprit for all the wrong things that have happened.

You wouldn't be able to forget the smaller fights, the real big fights, and the hurt that has been caused because of being headstrong, stubborn, and unhelpful.

That's when you need to keep patience. Handle each situation very, very delicately. Put forth your points, your ideas in a way that will help the other person see your perspective. The other person may not believe in your perspective, but will at least understand that, finally, that is what your feel. And the most important factor in all this is not to keep reminding oneself of all the fights and hurt in the past. For some time at least, you must keep them away. Keep them on the back burner.

You may want to pick on them again when the issues at hand are resolved. But it is extremely important that at the time when you are trying to patch up things, you let bygones be bygones. Slowly and surely, the soreness, the feeling of being hurt and unhappy fades away. A real understanding between each other develops. That's when peace will return!

Just A Small Gesture Made All The Difference

It was a Saturday and the roads were quite busy. We were on bike and there was a small truck ahead of us.
We were trying to overtake the truck when the cleaner who sits on the left signalled us to wait before overtaking. Sanjeev patiently waited till he signalled back that we could now overtake the truck.

As we passed the truck, Sanjeev waved to him. He smiled a big smile. I waved back too. And the way he smiled was so beautiful.

All along the way, he had been guiding other vehicles, allowing them to overtake, or signalling them to wait their turn. He was an old man, with missing teeth, unshaven face, and yet with a beautiful smile.

We both waving to him was such a wonderful thing. He smiled a smile that brought tears in my eyes. He was so happy to be acknowledged for the small work that he was doing. Perhaps for him it was nothing extraordinary. But to get attention for your routine work, to be acknowledged and thanked for that, was great for him. His face expressed the sincerity and truthfulness that he had. His old, wrinkled face that was full of the wisdom of so many years exuded the childlike joy that he felt when we acknowledged him.

When he waved back, it was just like waving back to his own kids, and giving them that lovely smile that makes your heart jump with joy.

Just a small effort from us was needed to make that man feel happy and loved and acknowledged. Perhaps he will remember us some day, perhaps he won't. But I will always remember that old man's blissful face. I will remember how it seemed like he was blessing when he waved back to us.

The man was certainly old, but I do wish that in the remainder of his life, he stays happy.

Just one gesture makes so much of difference in the world. World is beautiful! Let's try and make it more beautiful!

Growing Up

What does it take to have a better life? Love, friends, family, work, peace of mind, happiness, safety and security, togetherness, understanding partner, overall stability, people who treat you well and never let your down?

I think all this together. Man is a rather selfish animal. Apart from food, water, sleep, and physical well-being, there are so many more things that man requires to survive. We need love and acceptance from our partner, friends, colleagues, relatives, acquaintances. That's one of the most important requirements apart from the basic needs. If that's not fulfilled, if you are not accepted as you are, as the person that you are, you will always be dissatisfied, frustrated, and driven to craziness.

As you move upwards in life, you grow. People around you grow and change. You metamorphose into someone that you never thought of as you started your journey. A simple example is how you are at the start of your career. Ten years down the line, when you sit back and look back at the time that's gone past, would you say you had foreseen yourself there where you are? Very few can. Very few have such chalked out careers. But all will certainly have matured over those years. Each one would have learnt so much and experienced so much that you would definitely agree that you are someone who was not so ten years before.

Today when I was chatting with a very good friend, I was talking about what I was when I started my career. I was so naive, so untamed, so untrained. I was so coarse. Today, after eight years, I know I have grown. I have experienced different types of people and learnt to deal with them. I have learnt so much technically, something that I never could have thought of eight years back. And I am so much more confident today.

I always remember Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth remains unfazed by the pomposity and grandeur of Lady Catherine's home and person. A few years back, I used to feel diminished even thinking of facing and interacting with highly technical people, developers, and engineers. I used to feel that I would never be able to face them because of my lack of technical knowledge. But today, like Elizabeth, I feel unfazed. I can meet them with an equanimity which has come with experience and learning. And I am happy about it.

Growing up also includes an important aspect of knowing what you don't know. Realising what you are not good at and striving to achieve an acceptable level of knowledge in that.

I had attended a training in April in which I learnt to eat the ugliest frog first. In simple terms, it means that if there's something that you find the hardest to do, you should always do that first. Get that out of the door and the work will become much lighter. In some ways, I've started using that in my work as well as personal life. It's working too. :)

That's how things are currently. I am growing and I am happy.

Changing Times

Times are changing, things are changing, people are changing.

One of my closest friend recently got married and has moved to a different city. I didn't realise the big change it would be. Not just for her, but also for me. She was always there for us all. Now she has started her new life and I am surely happy for her. But that is what it is...circumstances are changing.

What was taken for granted earlier isn't there anymore. You have to adapt to it and change yourself too.

My parents moved to a new house. That's a big change indeed. They are still trying to settle in. The house is beautiful, comfortable, and very conveniently located. It also has car parking (which really is a boon.) Surprisingly, we all have adjusted to the new house quite quickly. Fortunately it's in the same locality so not much change with regards to the maids, newspaper boy, or doodhwala. Nevertheless, it's a change. It's a good change.

At work, a release is just over and we are moving towards a November release. But before we start working on that, we are doing new things with new additional team members, and with new technology. I am responsible for an entire new project along with existing tasks. Exciting times ahead.

Changing times indeed!

Back After A Long Time

After an unusually tricky release, I have now relaxed and got into a comfortable routine. My routine now consists of getting out of office sometimes as early as 4.30 p.m. and on most days no later than 6.30 p.m.

Work is manageable and hopefully this is how it will continue for quite some time.

The only problem now is getting into the groove and starting new things. In office, I still haven't got the thrust or push to start working on new items (and there are plenty of them.) However, out of office, I am doing new things, starting with long-pending activities, and hopefully turning a new leaf soon.

Another thing I will try to do is write more frequently here. :)