Reasons Why Things Go Wrong

Murphy's Law:
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Simon's Law:
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.

The Unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something...
...if it's good, it goes away.
...if it's bad, it happens.

Hane's Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.

Bedfellow's Rule:
The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Ballance's Law of Relativity:
How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Lemar's Parking Postulate:
If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two new parking spaces right in front of the building entrance.

Bell's Theorem:
When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Bess's Universal Principles:
1. The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
2. You will reach it just in time to hear the click of the caller hanging up.

Boob's Law:
You always find something the last place you look.

Law of the Search:
The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Maryann's Law:
You can always find what you're not looking for.

Lewis's Law:
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Richard's Complementary Rules of Ownership:
1. If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
2. If you thro anything away, you will need it as soon as it is no longer accessible.

Etorre's Observation:
The other line moves faster.

Worker's Dilemma:
1.No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

Aigener's Axiom:
No matter how well you perform your job, a superior will seek to modify the results.

Shapiro's Law of Reward:
The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Seay's Law:
Nothing ever comes out as planned.

Ringwald's Law of Household Geometry:
Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

Horowitz's Law:
Whenever you turn on the radio, you hear the last few notes of your favourite song.

Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.